When Angels Touch the Ground...

kamusta naman yon?!

2006-09-01T09:54:00.000+08:00

I often hear this expression in our parish. If someone will tell a joke or a comment, "Kamusta naman yon?!" is the response you would usually get...very inappropriate pero yon ang pauso nila these days!! =)

As for me, as a mental health nurse, I wonder how many times I use that sentence in a day... "Kamusta ka na?" o "Kumusta ang pakiramdam mo ngayon?!" In my every nurse-patient interaction, I think I have over-used the sentence just to start the conversation with my patients. Haaahaaayyy...

Nagiisip tuloy ako ng iba. Sa tingin ko kase, lahat ng pasyente sa ward namin ay sawang-sawa nang sagutin ang mga tanong na yan. Minsan 4-8 tao ang kumakausap sa kanila sa isang araw. May doctor, nurse, student-nurse, intern, clerk, occupational therapists, seminarians at psycholgy students. IMAGINE! May isang araw, sabi ng isa kong pasyante, "Ms. Mabale, bakit ba ang daming nag-iinterview sa amin? Mga apat na ata yung mga nakaputi! Pwede bang pakisabi na lang sa kanila, ayoko muna makipag-usap?! Pare-pareho lang naman ang mga sinasabi nila eh!"

Uhmm, buti na lang brown at green ang uniform namin. hehe... Ang pasyente kong ito ay cooperative sa interview talaga. Bibigyan ko ba siya agad ng nursing diagnosis na Impaired Social Interaction para sa araw na iyon?? Haaaay, kailangan i-respeto din sila na may mga pagkakataon na mas gusto nilang mapag-isa. Kahit na sabihin nating nakakatulong na may nakakausap talaga sila pero kung ganon naman kadami, overstimulated na sila. Kahit nga ako, nakakapagod magkwento ng paulit-ulit eh, dba?! Syempre, pagkatapos namin mag-usap, pinuntahan ko na muna yung intern at sinabihan na mamaya na lang niya kausapin ang pasyente. Kamusta naman yon?! =)

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Nakaka-stress ang duty ko ngayong linggong ito. Nung tuesday may nagalit sa aking pasyente dahil hindi ko siya naisama sa gardening. Pre-occupied kase siyang umuwi at naisip ng head nurse namin na posible siyang tumakas. Ayon, nagalit sa akin, nagsisigaw, nagwala, naitali at na-injectionan. Haloperidol at Diphenhydramine. Galit na galit siya sa akin. Sabi niya, "Nakikita mo ba itong kamay ko, nanginginig ang kamay ko dahil galit ako sa'yo. Pasalamat ka at nakatali ako dahil kung hindi nasampal talaga kita! Nag-volunteer akong sumama sa gardening tapos ako pa ang hindi mo isasali? Inggetera ka!!!" Whew...kumabog ang dibdib ko nung kausap ko siya. Ayoko din naman kase na may nagagalit sa akin. At siyempre, di ko din siya pdeng patulan. Kinabukasan non, yung isang naman pilosopo kong pasyente ang irritable! Haaayyy... Nakakadugo ng utak talaga! Kailangan matatag ang kalooban mo.

Mamaya, PM shift na ako, ibig sabihin, 2-10:30 pm ang duty ko. First time ko mag-PM sana hindi toxic! Dalawa lang kame mamaya. Nyay!

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Nagoath-taking na nga pala kame nung Monday bilang kawani ng gobyerno at ng PGH! Yahhhooooooo! Susweldo na ako sa wakas sa 1st week of September! At last, AFTER TWO MONTHS!!! Madami nkong utang eh! Huhuhu....

waiting...

2006-08-26T00:49:00.000+08:00

antok nko...

...antagal naman maghintay!

haaaaaayyyy....

PGH-RNs of upcn05

2006-08-06T10:57:00.000+08:00

Nagkita ako, ica, suzet at joan last Monday! Sama dapat ako sa SUKOB kaso nahiya ako sa mga ka-ward na kasama nila...Pero nung Wednesday, pinuntahan ako nina Ica, Jape at Che sa ward! Nag-meet kame sa Cabalen at konting kwentuhan. Medyo bitin kase umuwi na din ako agad at nakita ko Prech at Astrid kaya sabay na kame ni Astrid umuwi. (Nakita din daw pala nla Prech at Astrid si Marcky) =) Nakakatuwa, namiss ko silang lahat! Kame ang PGH Nurses of Batch 2005 hehehe, at marami pang iba. Sana maging regular ang pagkikita namin. Tapos nung Thursday naman magkasama kame ni Astrid post-duty. Sinamahan ko siya tumingin ng kung anu-ano para sa locker niya pero ako ang mas napabili! Ang saya pa rin talaga nang may friends ka na laging andyan at pwede mong kasama. Feeling ko mas naging close kame ni Astrid ngayon after graduation kesa nung college. hehe, Si Michelle as usual...missing pa din! Hmmmp! Sabi skin ni Sir Al, sulitin ko daw ang company ng friends ko ngayon kse kapag nagliparan na kameng lahat paalis, sobrang nakakalungkot daw. At least, habang nandito pa kame, nasulit namin na magin sama-sama diba?!

Kaso may isang frustration pa din ako... HINDI PA AKO NANONOOD NG SINE! huhuhu! At hindi pa din ako nakakapunta ng MOA. Baaaaad talaga! Na-miss ko ang lakehouse, superman, pirates, at marami pang iba! Kase naman....

At isa pa... HINDI PA AKO SUMESWELDO! 1 month na kaya ako! waaaaaahhh! Di pa kse ako nagooath-taking! Parang di ko na yata kayang maghintay pa ng end of August. Nakakaawa naman kameng dalawa ni Ethel... Kahit na sabihin mong mnalaki yun kse nga lahat sama-sama, ang pangit pa din yung feeling na humihingi pa din ako ng baon sa tatay ko araw-araw! Diba?!

General Orientation Procedure namin the whole week next week. Wag lang sana ako matoxic kse minsan iba ang expectations nila kapag UP Graduate! Nyay!

Psych Insight #1: PATIENCE...

2006-07-26T17:20:00.000+08:00

...is a must! Mahirap pero kailangan.

I have this patient, let's call her, Amby Ambivalent 34/F, Schizophrenia, Undifferentiated Type.

Latest Mental Status Examination (MSE):
> calm, kempt, appropriately dressed according to age/sex
> needs assistance in ADLS, stays in bed most of the time
> passive during interview/minimal verbal response; poor eye contact
> with minimal verbal respose
> (+) tangentiality and looseness of association
> (+) visual and auditory hallucinations
> socially withdrawn
> constricted affect; labile mood
> smiles and mumbles to self
> noted with ambivalence in walking, eating, and doing other ADLS
> noted with occasional negativism to watcher (father) especially when bathing and changing diapers
> other MSE cannot be assessed due to limited verbal response

20th session na kame ng ECT (Electroconvulsive Therapy) nia bukas @ 140 V, 7:00 am. 'Grossly Psychotic' ang patient...sabi nga ng doctor niya... May mga araw na papayag siyang maglakad kame sa ward o kaya mag-ikot ikot ng nakawheelchair. May mga araw naman na mas gusto lang niya na humarap sa pader, habang pangiti-ngiti at pabulong-bulong sa sarili niya. Minsan, hahawakan niya ang kamay ko nang sobrang higpit at hindi niya bibitawan...tapos bigla-bigla ding manununtok. Isang beses, nasabi niya ang pangalan ko pero hindi na iyon nasundan. Inaamin niya din na may mga nakikita siya nagse-sex na multo. Kapag sinubuan mo naman kakain naman siya. Iniinom din niya ang gamot niya. Sabi ng tatay niya Nursing graduate daw siya but failed the Board Exam thrice. Nung bata pa daw siya Obssessive-Compulsive daw siya. Hanggang sa nagkasakit na nga siya.

One day, sobrang natoxic ako sa kanya dahil pumayag siya maglakad (kasama ko nga pala ang student nurse) e kailangan niya talaga ng assistance..hawak-hawak niya lang ang diaper niya tapos gusto niya hubarin. Nasa CR na kame, tinanggal niya ang diaper niya, uupo, tatayo sa inodoro, papasok, lalabas ng cubicle. Di din naman siya umihi. Tapos tinapon niya ang diaper niya sa basurahan. Naglakad na kame pabalik a room. Tinanong namin kung magsusuot siya ng panty. Isusuot na namin, biglang ayaw na niya. Tatango tapos ayaw na ulit. Hanggang sa hindi na lang. Tapos nung kakain na, ni hindi din siya makapagdesisyon kung uupo o hindi. Nahahahayyy!! Napagod talaga ako noon! Patience talaga ang kailangan.

Isang beses naman alam kong tuwang tuwa siya sa akin dahil talagang pumayag siya maglakad kame, tapos pa pagod na, wheelchair ride naman. Nagverbalize pa siya, "Bakit mo al;am ang gusto ko?" Nung araw na yon din marami siyang verbal response. Yun nga lang disturbed talaga ang thoughts. Kinabukasan naman, naku, ayaw na niya ulit magsalita. Hmmm, minsan yung tatay lagi na lang gusto siya itali. Ako naman nakikipagtalo na sa kanya na hindi dapat tinatali lagi ang pasyente. Pero naiintindihan ko siya dahil talaga naman nakakaubos din ng energy magbantay at napapgod na din siya dahil matanda na siya at siya ang bantay 24 hours. Hmmmmm... won't go into details na. Di na din naman ako gagawa pa ng NCP dito sa blog ko.hehe,

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Food for the (Psychotic) Brain: Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) is a controversial psychiatric shock therapy involving the induction of a seizure in a patient by passing electricity through the brain. Researchers do not understand how ECT affects mental state, but patients with several conditions sometimes show dramatic short-term improvement after the procedure. While many psychiatrists believe that properly administered ECT is a safe and effective treatment for some conditions, a vocal minority of psychiatrists, former patients, antipsychiatry activists, and others strongly criticize the procedure as extremely harmful to patients' subsequent mental state.

psych update

2006-07-18T21:34:00.000+08:00

I've been trying to organize my thoughts para sa update ng experiences ko sa psych ward. I'll be posting them soon. Medyo, lagi lang akong pagod ngayon, trying to adapt to my new schedule. Nyay! Feeling ko lagi pagkauwi ko, pagod na pagod at antok! AM naman ako lagi...6-2:30pm. pero in reality 5:30-4:30 ako sa pgh dahil dami ko pa ibang inaasikasong papers at medyo late nkong matapos sa charting! Bagal ko kase mag-isip! Though di naman ganon physically tiring pero mabigat din sa loob kung di mo mahahandle ng maayos yung patient situations at kung dadalhin mo pagkauwi. Minsan nga napapanaginipan ko pa silang mga patients ko eh. At...minsan sa ward mismo, parang sasabog ang utak mo sa mga makulit na pasyente at pati na din sa mga BANTAY na parang pasyente. Maiisip mo din kung pano nga ba makakatulong ma-relieve yung burden ng mga bantay. Haaayyy!

Nakukuha ko na ang proseso sa ward. Konting assistance na lang pero takot pa akong magdesisyon mag-isa! Buti na lang super patient magturo ang aking head nurse, si Mam Acel. Atsaka natututunan ko na din pano ihandle yung mga agitated / violent / non-compliant na pasyente. Marami naman akong natututunan araw-araw. Dami din insights. Promise talaga I will be writing them soon. Sabi sakin ni Mam Maglaya, magsulat daw ako lagi ng insights ko about sa mga experiences ko para magkapagsulat din ako ng libro. Dun daw siya nagsimula noon. At niyayaya niya talaga ako several times magsulat daw kame. Hmmm, ngayon pa nga lang ako natututo ehhh! Pero interesado din ako doon pero dami ko munang mga gustong malaman, maintindihan at matutunan! =) Sa friday may socialization kame sa ward. Ako ay kasama sa isang special number ng mga nurses. Kameng tatlong bago. Di ko pa alam kung ano gagawin namin. hehehe... Dami pang susunod na kwento. SOON! =)

psych nurse

2006-07-04T19:49:00.000+08:00

Yestarday was my first day to officially report for duty. Nyay! Ethel and I were the only ones who started to report that day. So, Mam Lanie from Division of Nursing Education and Training oriented us briefly regarding PGH policies. After that, we headed to the Department of Nursing to talk to Mam Tamse, PGH - Deputy Director for Nursing, for our ward assignments. Months, and weeks ago, I already prepared and imagined myself as a nurse assigned in a medical-surgical area. It never occured to me that I will be assigned in WARD 7, Psychiatric Ward. I remembered clearly how Mam Tamse smiled at me. Ethel, by the way was assigned to the Opthalmology Department.

I was tongue-tied. My only reaction was to smile. I was indeed shocked, disoriented to the reality for a moment, as if the I was afloat in the clouds! The MEMO was dated May 30, 2006. It means that the assignment is already fixed and even if I reported last June, I would still be a psych nurse (whether I like t or not).

Suddenly all these thoughts rushed to me. I remembered that I told them that I wanted to be assigned in a medical-surgical unit! What were they thinking? I don't think I am therapeutic enough to be with psych patients. Oh no, wait! How would I learn all the other procedures that a nurse should have mastered? Why now?! What did I tell them that maed them thibnk that I would be a fine psych nurse?? I know that I love patient interaction but not this way --this is too early for me! WHY, WHY, WHY??? I had visual and auditory hallucinations of patients, screaming and hurting each other, patients trying to escape, patients who are disoriented and those who would do their ritualistic behaviors. At the moment, I don't know how to respond to them... psych days when I was a student are almost two years ago!

Ethel and I went to the canteen for lunch. We were still discussing what our future will be in our areas. We just told ourselves that THERE IS A REASON for this. We have to accept that. Later on, we will realize our purpose. *sigh*

After lunch, I went to the Ward, introduced myself to them and then Sir Baniqued, also a graduate of UP, opriented me to the ward. I had a good impression on the staff and on the unit. I felt that I would like it there. Besides, I would love to organize patient activities, facilitate art and music therapy, lead the exercise every morning and provide a 1:1 interaction with patients. Mam Dimaano, our chief nurse in the area, also talked to me and allowed me to ventilate my thoughts and feelings. She told me that I would be supported by the rest of the staff. =) Whew! It was a relief for me!

When I left PGH, I went to the chapel, offered a short prayer and then went to our College to find Mam Mejico--my favorite professor and my mentor in psych and community nursing. Good thing she was there. She was delighted with news and she was very happy for me. She told me to remain OPEN to learn, to accept the assignment they have given me whole-heartedly and to be humble all the time. Besides, learning is a process. It is a rare opportunity to be assigned in a psych unit and I should see it as a blessing --this is how to look at it in a positive way. I was indeed empowered with her words. *big smile*

Upon reflecting with myself, I realized that maybe GOD really wanted me to be there. Maybe based on the skills that I have I would be of help to psych patients. Maybe I can maximize my potentials in this area first. This is not a dead end. This is an OPENING to more opportunities! Besides, being a psych nurse means that based on their assessment, I am mentally, psychologically and emotionally fit to the job. No issues!hehe, Any nurse can learn the procedures and technical interventions in nursing--but not all nurses are suitable to be a psych nurse. Believe me, it is not easy. The key: THERAPEUTIC USE OF SELF--this is what I should develop and learn as I stay in WARD 7. =)

2006-06-29T17:15:00.000+08:00

TODAY is the birthday of my FIRST POST!
I mean I am already blogging for a year now!
Yeeaahh!

I PASSED

2006-06-28T18:18:00.000+08:00

Praise GOD!

Isa na akong licensed Nurse sa California! Kailangan ko na lang ng U.S. Social Security Number within three years for my permanent license. Yey!

Start nko PGH next week...Eksaktong three years ang contract don. = ) Titingnan pa kung ano dapat gawing next step after IELTS. At kung pano yung processing ng visa. Sabi ng iba, it may take up to two years ehh! Di ko pa talaga alam kung pano. hehe, Ang mahalaga ngayon, nakaraos nko! Saya!

THANK YOU for those who prayed for me! *tight huuug*

Magiging malinis na ang kwarto namin ngayon! hehehe.....Kala mo totoong naisaulo ko lahat ng mga lab values, etc... hehe!

Pero ayaw ipaalis ni Sam,kapatid ko, magagamit pa daw niya yon kapag siya na...after 2-3 years pa?! nyay!

2006-06-26T11:04:00.000+08:00

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Sa aking mga UGAT...

2006-06-23T19:57:00.000+08:00

...ang dumadaloy ay dugo!

Tatlong araw na lecture, demo at counter-demo tungkol sa Intravenous Therapy ang natapos ngayong araw na ito. Dalawang araw kaming nakinig at ngayong huling araw, maghapon na written at practical exam! Mataas naman ang total grade ko sa practical exam pero sumakit talaga ang ulo ko! Grabe!

Paano ba naman kailangan mo sabihin at i-demo step by step ang mga sumusunod:

Procedure I: Setting up/Changing IVF/Discontinuing IV Infusion (42/42)

Procedure II: Blood transfusion (23/25)

Procedure III: IV Drug administration (60/65)

Procedure IV: IV Insertion (19/21)

Prodeure V: One-on-one IV Insertion

Kinakabahan talaga ako nung ako na ang mag-iinsert sa partner ko! Mabuti na lang at mabait at matiyagang magturo ang preceptor namin na si Mam Maternal, ang Chief Nurse ng LPDH. Pinayagan niya kami mag-try ulit. At tinuturuan niya kami ng tamang gawin. Mahirap ma-master ang pagtusok sa ugat. Dapat alam mo tingnan kung ang ugat ba ay diretso, kung ito ba ay madaling pumutok, kung sapat ba ang laki nito para makadaloy ang IV fluid/dugo, atbp. Dapat din marunong kang magmanipulate ng IV catheter /cannula and needle para hindi mahiwalay ang IV catheter sa needle habang ipinapasok ang karayom. Sadyang may mga tao na mahirap hanapan ng ugat. May mga ugat din na madaling pumutok tulad ng sa matatanda. Iba't ibang hand techniques din ang maaari mong gamitin depende kung saan ka magiging komportable. =)

Hindi pa talaga ako kumportableng mag-insert ng IV. Pero alam ko naman na matapos ang ilan pang beses ng pagtutusok, masasanay din ako! Magcocomplete na lang ako sa PGH (sa loob ng anim na buwan) ng anim na IV insertion, anim na IV push at dalawang blood transfusion at magiging ganap na IV therapy nurse nko! May license ha! At least natupad ko ang isa sa mga goal ko bago magsimulang magtrabaho sa PGH. Yey!

self-fulfillment

2006-06-21T17:29:00.000+08:00

Ang aking bestfriend na si Dyan ay niyaya ako sa isang IV training dito sa Las Pinas Doctor's Hospital. Isa itong magandang pagkakataon para naman magkaroon ako agad ng IVT (intravenous therapy) license. Ito ay isang 3-day training kung saan tuturuan kaming mag-insert ng karayom sa ugat para makapagkabit ng swero, makapagbigay ng gamot na sa ugat ipapadaan at makapagsalin ng dugo nang ligtas. Matapos ang training, kailangan naming magkumpleto ng anim na IV insertion, anim na IV drug administration at dalawang blood transfusion sa aktwal na pasyente. Magandang paghahanda din ito para sa nalalapit kong pagsisimula sa PGH...Dba?! Kaso, si Dyan ay hindi pinayagan mag-absent ng charge nurse niya sa ASIAN Hospital kaya naiwan akong mag-isa. Nagsumula ang 3-day training kanina.

May nakasama akong nurse pero matanda na at nanay na siya. Siya ang aking katabi nang buong araw. She is convincing me not to work in PGH anymore. Medyo masasakit ang mga sinabi niya, kesyo napaka-idealistic ko daw...dapat daw as early as now, I am striving hard to help my parents. I do not need daw the 3-year experience in PGH at dapat daw sa walang contract na lang ako...Parang napakasama kong anak. I know somehow yun din ang nararamdaman nila nanay...

Alam ko, that lady, hindi niya ako maiintindihan. Almost all the nurses here ay naaatat nang umalis. Hindi ko din naman sila masisi. Ako din naman alam ko na that's the better way. But what I really want is to somehow be able to serve the Filipino people through my nursing care. Mas kailangan nila ako dito. Kakaibang sense of fulfillment ang maibibgay noon sa akin. Isa pa, gusto ko matuto. Through extensive experience. Ayoko sumabak sa ibang lugar na hindi ako confident enough to render safe and effective nursing care. Iba pa din yung may maipagmamalaki ako in terms of experience. And lastly, ayoko din na maging basta-bastang nurse. Gusto ko yung may quality. Yung marunong, yung magaling di lang sa theory, kundi pati sa practice and most importantly yung may puso. Maybe that's the effect of studying in UP. The result of taking care of the marginalized and oppressed people. Ang epekto kapag isinapuso mo ang lahat ng turo ni Mam Mejico at kapag nakita at naranasan mo ang kagalakan na may natulungan ka sa mga taong hindi na napapansin ng lipunan. Sila lang ang nakapagbibigay ng deepest appreciation and gratitude for those who opted to stay here. Ganito talaga siguro kapag paslit ka pa lang na-orient ka na sa konsepto ng paglilingkod---sa YOUTH MINISTRY sa parish namin. Maaaring epekto din ito ng isang taong takot at ayaw mawalay sa pamilya. Ang pamilya na pinakamamahal niya. Iniisip ko pa lang ngayon na aalis na ako, naiiyak na ako...

I dont like to work in PGH for the sake of meeting the 1 year requirement for Filipino nurses and finishing the 3-year contract. Merely thinking of how hard to manage more than 10 patients a day for three years is not helpful! Toxic talaga dito...If you wouldn't see joy and fulfillment of serving the Filipinos, if you wouldn't appreciate what you have learned each day no matter how small it is, if you would be blinded with the fact that you are always overworked and underpaid, and if you wouldn't seek God in each patient, then the 1 year requirement will be like 10 years of hell.

On the other hand, if you would look at each day as a blessing, if you would take the time and opportunity to learn, if you would allow yourself to be nourished with the insights and wisdom that each experience will give, and if you would find God in each patient you encounter, then three years will be like 6 months --fruitful and fulfilling! haha! Exaggerated ba?!

Waahhh....sana magawa at maisip ko ito kapag nagtatrabaho na ako! ayoko ngang magsuffer ng 10 years sa hell! hehe, Alam ko, mahirap. May mga araw na isusuka ko ang aking trabaho pero I know that what matters is that my intentions are humble and pure. Maaaring pinagtatawanan ako ng ibang tao, naiinis sa akin ang mga magulang ko, at nanghihinayang sa akin ang iba pero ito ang aking pinaniniwalaan. Ito din ang 'calling' sa akin sa ngayon. At nais ko itong matugunan. Personal fulfillment ito na alam kong hindi ko makukuha sa limpak limpak na dolyar. Hindi ito nabibili.

Matapos ang tatlong taon, tamang-tama lang na malapit na magkolehiyo ang aking mga batang kapatid...It's my turn naman. Hindi ko sila pababayaan siyempre. Matutulungan ko pa din sila sa kanilang pag-aaral. Aalis naman ako talaga dahil mahal ko sila higit sa aking sarili. Sa ngayon, sana ay maintindihan nila ako na ayoko pa umalis, na gusto ko pa makasama ang aking pamilya, na gusto ko pa matuto, at na gusto ko maglingkod muna dito---dito sa Pilipinas!

MAHIRAP BA INTINDIHIN YON??! IBA-IBA NAMAN ANG PANANAW NG BAWAT TAO...AT KAILANGAN NATIN ITONG IGALANG... MAY KALAYAAN DIN NAMAN TAYO NA GAWIN KUNG SAAN TAYO MAGIGING MASAYA DIBA?! DITO AKO MAGIGING MASAYA. selfish ba ako kung ganito ako mag-isip?? Pasensiya na, naiiyak kaya ako habang sinusulat ko ang mga ito. Nasaktan lang ako talaga sa mga binitiwang salita ng nakilala ko kanina... Haaaaayyyy..........

Sa Hongkong (Part 2)

2006-06-14T14:41:00.000+08:00

After namin magbreakfast, nagpunta na kame sa Ocean Park. Madali lang naman pumunta doon. MTR lang baba sa Admiralty tapos Bus ride sa Ocean Park. Doon ako nakasakay sa Double-decker bus..yey! Tapos I got very excited nung nalaman ko na may Cable Car sa Ocean Park! Ang Ocean Park kase, ay nahahati sa headland at lowland. Di ka makakaratng sa headland nang hindi nasakay sa cable car! Kaya naman yung tita Pita ko na natatakot sumakay, wala siyang choice. Ako naman, super excited! haha! Honestly, expected ko naman kung ano makikita ko. Naisip ko din na mas malaki pa din ang Sea World ng States kase ang MAIN SHOW ng dolphins at sea lions sa Ocean Park ay side show lang ng sa States dahil doon mas maraming shows at may whale pa. Nasa headland ang mga rides. Mayroong similar sa Anchors Away at Flying fiesta ng enchanted. Sumakay din ako sa roller coaster at sa The Abyss - Ito yung super taas (straight vertical) tapos bigla kang ibabagsak... Grabe, nangimay ang buo kong katawan sa ride na ito. Wala naman akong kasama dahil oldies na mga company ko. hehe... Nagejoy din ako tingnan ang mga isda, mga jelly fish at yung nakakatuwa ay yung panda bear (Sina An-An at Jia-Jia). Nung hapon, bumaba na kame sa Lowland. Sakay ulit sa cable car overlooking sa South China Sea. Medyo umaambon pero buti di kasing lakas nung day before kundi di namin maeenjoy maglakad-lakad!

Grabe nakakapagod sa Ocean Park! Di na kame nakapunta sa THE PEAK dahil nga pagod na at maulap tapos mukhang ako na lang ang may energy pang gumala. Bumalik na kame sa hotel, nagdinner at nagpahinga. Niyaya ko pa din sila sa Avenue of Stars, walking distance lang yon sa hotel namin. Nung nakausap ko si Jobart sa phone, mukhang pagod na din siya kaya di din kame natuloy magkita nung gabing yon. Sa umaga na lang kinabukasan. Ayon... buti napilit ko ang ninong lito ko at si tita cecil maggala pa. hehe...

Ang AVENUE OF STARS ay parang Walk of Fame sa Hollywood. May mga sariling STAR ang mga artista doon kaso ang kilala lang naman namin ay si Bruce Lee, Jet Li at Jackie Chan. hehe... Pero ang sarap maglakad doon..parang Baywalk tapos di naman mabaho yung amoy ng tubig at maganda ang lights na natatanaw sa kabilang island. =)

Last day, umaga pa lang, we packed our things na dahil we have to check out sa hotel ng 12 pm. So, before we go sa Central at bago magbreakfast nagempake na kame. Nagkita din kame ni Jobart sa Kowloon Park. Grabe, magulo yung usapan namin at me mga txt siya na di ko narereceive kaya sayang di kame nakapagkita nang matagal! As in pinilit lang namin magkita kame para makapagpa-picture. haha! Mas matagal pa yung telebabad namin sa hotel. Pero ang saya pa din! At nagkakita kame doon! Nasa gitna kase ng hotel na tinutuluyan namin yung Kowloon Park kaya madali lang magkita. hinatid niya ako sa Fairwood kung saan nandon sina nanay. pupunta din kase sila sa Central para mag-shopping at by 3pm dapat nasa HK Airport na sila dahil 6pm ang flight nila. Ayon...

Kame naman, pagka-check out, nagpunta na din kame sa Central para mamili. Nandoon daw kase yung ali-ali kung saan madaming mga Pilipino at mura mamili. Pagdating namin doon, para ngang divi din! hehe... Namili lang kame ng pampasalubong at nag-luch sa KFC! O dba?! KFC pa din hanggang doon. Puro mga Pilipino na ang kumakain doon eh...

After lunch, me nadaanan kame na ALLEY... Ito pala yung 'alley-alley' kung saan nagstay ang mga nagtatrabahong pinoy doon. ANG DAMI nila! Naglalatag ng karton, tapos may baong pagkain at doon parang nagpi2cnic...may nagpepedicure, nagpapa-massage, may nag totong-its, atbp. Day off daw kase nila kapag sunday kaya naman na-memeet nila ang kanilang mga kaibigan doon. =)

Mga past 4pm na kame nakabalik sa hotel at sa lobby lang kame naghintay ng bus na sundo namin papuntang airport. 5pm kase kame sunduin at 9pm ang flight namin. =) Grabe pagod namin! Lakad nang lakad, shopping (Sa GIORDANO kame madaming nabili dahil mura doon!), kain, yon! Pero nanghihinayang pa din ako kse di kame nakapunta sa Space Museum, sa Science Museum, sa The Peak, sa Giant Buddha, di namin napanood yung Symphony of Lights, at di din kame nakasakay sa Mid-levels Escalator na world's longest daw! Hmm... dami pa ring di napuntahan...Siguro babalik pko sa HK pero di na para mag-exam huh. hehe,

Nkabalik kame dito sa Pinas nang mga 11:15 pm. Naramdaman ko agad ang init! Back to reality na...haha, sakit ng katawan ko at talagang nagyon lang ako nagkalakas ulit magkwento. Basta thank you para sa mga nag-pray para sa akin...sa amin. yon! Enjoy yung four days namin sa HK. Sulit na din at ang saya! I'm glad sinamahan ako nila nanay at tatay sa aking exam. I know, maswerte ako dahil sa kanila. LOVE YOU po! Mwaaahh!

PICTURES...PICTURES...PICTURES...!

Pahabol: HK $1 = Php6.8 and US $1 = HK $7.7 (Bawat presyo na makita ko nasanay ang utak ko magmultiply sa seven. haha!)

Sa Hongkong (Part 1)

2006-06-13T22:27:00.000+08:00

Maulan sa Hongkong noong nagpunta kame. Sa apat na araw namin doon, halos puro lakad ang ginawa namin.hehe...

Dumating kme ng mga 10:05 am noong June 8. Dalawang oras lang naman ang byahe papunta doon. Hinatid na agad kme ng bus namin sa aming hotel... IMPERIAL HOTEL, Kowloon. Maganda ang pwesto ng Hotel namin. Dun siya sa mismong City at malapit sa mga tourist spot at mga shopping centre. =)

Konti lang ang mga private vehicles doon. Very dependent ang mga tao sa MTR (Mass Transit Railway). Fast, clean, efficient and inexpensive. Underground railway system ito kung saan maraming 'trasfer station' na pwedeng magpalipa-lipat ang mga tao ng line. Kaya naman madaling ikutin ang buong Hongkong dahil dito. Ang isa pa sa nakaagaw ng aking pansin ay yung mga double-decker na bus. Sobrang na-excite talaga ako sumakay doon. hehe...ang babaw daw ng kaligayahan ko sabi ng tatay ko. =)

Noodles...noodles...noodles at noodles ulit ang madalas na pagkain namin doon. Siyempre...nakapagpraktis ako maigi gumamit ng Chopsticks.. Doon lang kami kumain sa mga small-time na restaurants dahil mahal mag fine dining! Dun yon sa mga gilid-gilid at syempre, medyo masikip ang pwesto. Di din marunong mag-english ang mga waitress kaya dapat marunong ka sumenyas at tinuturo na lang namin ang mga pagkain sa menu. Weird kse di man lang ako nakakain don ng siomai. harhar! Merong 7-Eleven din doon pero mura lang ang bilihin. Unlike dito na halos doble ang presyo. Mas mura pa nga sa 7 eleven kesa sa mga mini-grocery stores doon!

Noong first night namin, nagpunta agad kame sa tinatawag nilang 'Ladies Market' sa Mong Kok. Doon daw ang mga murang bilihin. Pagkadating namin don...aba! parang Divisoria din! haha! Di na din kame masyadong nagpagabi dahil umuulan na din at may exam pako kinabukasan. Pagkauwi namin, pinasadahan ko lang ang mga concepts ng mabilis tapos natulog na ako ng 1 am.

Kinabukasan, may free breakfast yung package namin sa Fairwood. Walking distance lang yon sa Imperial Hotel. Ang laman ng free breakfat ay: half slice ng toasted bread, egg, sausage/ham at milk tea/coffee. Di siya nakakabusog. haha! For three consecutive days doon kame breakfast pero usually umoorder pa kame ng iba pa. hehe,

Maulan ang 2nd day namin sa HK. Sina Ninong Lito, Tita Cecil at Tita Pita ay nagpunta noon sa Disneyland kahit malakas ang ulan tapos ako naman ay sinamahan na nina Tatay at Nanay sa Queen's Road Cental para sa aking NCLEX exam.

Sa Grand Millenium Hotel ako nag-exam. Mabilis ang proseso nila doon. Strict din sila--bawal ang jewelries, anything na laman ng pocket, at naka video kame althroughout the exam. Ang NCLEX exam ay computer generated. Titigil ang exam mo kapag 95% SURE na ang computer na above passing ka or below passing. You can have at least 75 questions or at most 256. There are 6 hrs alloted time for the exam including the instructions and the break. Sa awa ng Diyos di nko umabot pa ng 100 questions. Sana sana lang tama yung mga sagot ko at hindi ako doon sa below passing. 4 weeks pa ang hihintayin ko para sa official result. Ifoforward pa kase nila yung exam result ko sa California Board of Registered Nursing. Haaaaayyy... Nakakakaba pa din. Looorrd...pleeeease....sana po pasado!

O well, at least nakaraos na ako sa aking exam. Nakahinga ako ng maluwag at madami na akong pdeng gawin ulit! yey! Para akong nabunutan ng tinik. 2 hrs lang mahigit ako hinintay nila nanay at tatay. Kawawa sila kase ang lakas ng ulan at wala silang ginawa kundi mag-ikot ikot sa Central dahil wala naman silang matambayan. Pagkatapos ng exam ko. umuwi muna kame ulit sa hotel para magpalit ng damit at magpahinga ng konti. hehe... Nagdinner lang kame noong gabing yon at nagpahinga dahil nga di naman magandang gumala. Worse naman yung experience ng mga tito ko...imagine, mag-rides at maggala sa disneyland nang naka raincoat at nakapaa?? Wala ding Grand Parade dahil nga umuulan. Baaaaddd.... (Btw, di na kame nagpunta disneyland kse nakapunta naman na kame noong 2004 sa California. E mas malaki naman daw Disneyland doon siyempre. yon!)

Pahabol: Noong araw na yon nga pala, dumating din sina Jobart sa HK. Walking distance lang ang layo ng hotel namin sa kanila. Tumawag siya sa hotel namin at nakapagkwentuhan kami sa phone. O diba?! Sa HK pa kame nagtelebabad. Kinamusta lang naman niya ang exam ko and we agreed to meet the nxt day sa gabi. Punta kse sila Disneyland kinabukasan at kami naman sa Ocean Park. saya! =)

back home

2006-06-12T10:00:00.000+08:00

Arrival time: 11:15 pm
Philippine Airlines, Flight PR 311

hello Philippines! Mabuhay! hehe...

sakit ng katawan ko...almost four days kmeng lakad ng lakad! I need MORE energy para magkwento. haha!

thanks to everyone who prayed for my exam and for our safety! *hugs*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AYGEE, my dear friend! luv you, mwaaaahhh! ;-*

future USRN

2006-06-08T00:26:00.000+08:00

Nagising ako kanina (wed) sa mga txt ng mga tao na nag-gugudlak skin..ang saya non! pinalakas nila ang loob ko... ;-) naghanda nko ng mga damit pagkagising kahit masakit pa ulo ko. balak ko pa ngang magsagot ng 200+ items na exam questions pero di ko na nagawa dahil daming nagpunta sa akin ngayong araw na ito.

mga 11am plang, tinawagan nko ni kuya ping para i-gudlak. hehe, maya maya, nagtxt na skin si bjay na padating na siya...at ayun nga, dumating nga siya agad. siyempre, binati nya ako, kinuha yung libro na hiniram ko at pinahiram ko din ng dr. house... :-D natuwa ako dahil pinuntahan niya ako kahit saglit lang... *big smile*

pagka-alis ni bjay, kumain lng ako ng lunch, dumating na si espie. tinawagan nga muna niya ako at tinanong kung pde akong istorbohin! haha! tumambay siya sa bahay at nagchikahan kme at nanood ng korean dvd na di ko alam title.(lorraine, ano ba title nung tungkol sa sayaw??? at yung bata sa my little bride ang bida? la kseng translation ehh..) mga 6pm na umuwi si espie.. hehe, madami ding tumawag skin nung hapong yon sa fone--sina rhoi, ate joan at ate joy. =)

pagkaalis niya, umakyat nko at nagsagot ulit ng ilang questions tapos dumating na si ate eyls. mga 7:30 pm na yun...maya-maya, nagdatingan na din mga ka-pastoring ko. sina ate rhyanne, ate anlyne, ate luan.. kasama si ate rose, ely, gid, kuya josh, at kuya ping. Ang dami! ang saya! nilamnan namin ang aming mga tiyan ng pancit canton, kape at tinapay. umalis sila before 10pm. =) Me mga tumawag ulit, at walang tigil ang mga txt sa akin. ang saya! Nakakatuwa, nakakatouch,,

Noong una, ayoko talaga ikalat yung exam ko, nahihiya kse ako pano kung bumagsak ako. APAT na sa mga kaklase ko sa UP ang nagtake ng NCLEX at pumasa na. iniisip ko, pano ako?? nahihiya ako pano kung bumagsak ako... Narealyz ko...di pala. Mas nakakatuwa pala kpag alam mong maraming nagdarasal at sumusuporta saio. Oo, nakakapressure pero sa kabila non, kakaibang lakas ng loob ang naibibigay nito. Tama si bjay, di dpat ako mahiya kung ano man ang magiging resulta. Basta alam ko, naibigay ko ang aking BEST. Ganon naman talaga daw ang buhay...di ka laging panalo...whew!

Kaya ngayon, magaan ang loob ko... =) Ayoko na masyado mag-alala..itinataas ko na ang lahat s kanya. Basta ibibigay ko ang aking makakaya. At panghahawakan ko ang tiwala ng mga taong nagmamahal at sumusuporta sa akin. Iisipin kong inspirasyon ang mga kapatid ko na gusto kong mabigyan ng BAON, mga magulang ko na gusto kong makapag-relax na at makapagpahinga sa trabaho, ang aking kinabukasan, aking magiging pamilya at higit sa lahat ang plano ni God. Alam ko naman, na kung ito ay para sa akin...ito ay ipagkakaloob niya... *wink*

O dba, apat na oras na lang, papunta na kmeng airport at nagbo-blog pa din ako ngayon. Alis kme, June 8, 2006...PAL 8:00 am flight. Sa Imperial Hotel, Kowloon kme magstay. June 9, friday, 1:45 pm ang exact time ng NCLEX exam. Sana magkakita kme ni Jobart sa June 10. Nandon daw sila june 9-11 pero mauuna pa din sila bumalik kesa smin.hehe,, Mga susunod na kwento...sa aking pagbabalik...

Haaayy...Maria Angela A. Mabale,R.N. --- future USRN. =)

5 days to go...

2006-06-04T13:05:00.000+08:00

limang tulog na lang...kinakabahan ako kse di ako kinakabahan... excited nko pero parang ayoko pa dumating ang araw...kaya ko ba??? kaya ko nga ba?

Bless me Lord...

You know the desires of my heart...

I trust You and Your plans. =)

=====o*o=====o*o=====o*o=====

Noong Monday, nagreport ako sa PGH. Buti na lang at pinayagan nila akong July 3 pa magstart. E pano ba naman Start na agad ng June 5, ehhh NCLEX ko pa nga diba? Pero di ko sinabi na mag-NCLEX ako. sinabi ko na me work pko kse bilin skin ni Mam Nellie, wag na wag ko daw sasabihin na magnclex nko kse yaw nila yon.

Eniwei, ayon, na-excite na din ako magwork. Kaya naman iniisip ko na ang mga kailangan ko bilhin para sa duty ko. Bibili ako ng sphygmo at steth na kulay pink, body bag na maliit pdeng pang-duty, penlight, alcohol na sarili, lagayan ng medcards, dapat meron akong clipboard, tatlong kulay na ballpen, mga bulak at gasa (para in case maubusan sa ward) magpapatahi ng mask at pangtaas ng scrub suit na maganda, betadine, bibili ng white shoes (sa HK nlng ito siguro), isang box ng clean gloves at marami pang iba! hehehe, Kailangan ko bumili kse dalawa kme ng kapatid ko nanursing kaya halos naibigay ko na ang lahat ng supplies ko sa kanya noon at naubos na niya! Grabbeeeh, ang mahal mahal ng tuition fee nila sa MADOCS pero di sila binibigyan ng supplies! tama ba naman yon??? Buti na lang kame noon sa UPCN me supplies halos every sem/every year--isang plastic ng mga bulak, alcohol, sabon, sshampoo, betadine, good morning face towel, lagayan ng sabon, tongue depressor, micropor, syringes, gasa, gloves, mask at cap! kahit sa totoo, kulang yon pero OK na din!

Kaya naman bago ako magwork pupunta tlga ako ng divisoria at bambang. wehehehe!

=====o*o=====o*o=====o*o=====

Nakaisip na din pala ako nga gagawin habang naghihintay ng tatlong linggo para sa start ng duty ko...

MAG-AARAL AKO MAG-DRIVE!

saya dba?! yey!

spot the difference

2006-05-24T20:09:00.000+08:00

Arrrggghh!

What is the difference between administer a fleet enema and Administer a Fleet enema?

How about 1 tablet and 1 ?

Oh my...as I answer review questions for nclex a while ago, on the identification portion, I answered the underlined words above. The computer took my answers as incorrect. duh! With one word difference and 2 capital letters? Considering that my answer was just the same?!. Mine was even more complete. Grrrr!

I wonder if the computer on the NCLEX exam would be programmed that way..Oh my!

=====o*o=====o*o=====o*o=====

PGH called me. Mam Mendez asked me to report on Monday, May 29.

I am soooo excited to start working already but what will I do for my NCLEX?! I will talk to Mam Nellie, PGH Rotating Chief Nurse for some advice. Maybe I can start mid-june. I hope they will allow me...

=====o*o=====o*o=====o*o=====

Timing is everything, even in love. When you are not ready to commit, you could end up regretting it. Sometimes, timing rather than love decides who we end up with or without. Only some lucky people marry the love of their lives. The rest marry the most suitable person who comes along when they are ready to settle down... =)

From: Meg
Semt: 23-May-06, 10:21 pm
Somehow true... =)

Sabi niya skin, ala pa daw kmeng period...comma palang,. Naku, sabi pa naman ni Mam Mejico- my beloved Psych professor, mahirap daw ang mga comma, semi colon, colon, etc. Dapat daw tinatapos ang dapat tapusin. hehe,, talaga naman! Parang nasa ICU?! comma...coma/comatose...pero 9/15 naman daw GCS namin..(Glasgow coma scale) Edi di yun coma kse 7 below GCS ng comatose ehh. hehe, haaayy, coma...cguro di din makagalaw, nasa isang life-threatening situation, di ko nga lang alam kung naka mechanical ventilator. hehehe,, makakarecover pa kaya? makakabangon kaya?!haaaayyyy.....ang lab talaga. tsk tsk!

three 3's

2006-05-18T13:43:00.000+08:00

>>> THREE MONTHS na dpat kme ngayon. kaso... well, di naman ako depressed ngayong araw na ito. thanks to jobart. hehe... --isipin ko daw ang mga bagay na meron ako, hindi yung nawala. astig diba?!

>>> last THREE CHAPTERS na lang ako nga SAUNDERS NCLEX reviewer na inaaral ko. saya dba?! haaayy...matatapos ko ito ngayong araw na ito. yey!!!

>>> at... exactly THREE WEEKS na lang ang NCLEX exam ko. lipad kme papuntang Hongkong ng june 8 ng hapon ksama ko nanay ko, tatay ko, ninong lito at tita cecil. o dba?! full support?! sama na din gala don. hehe! whew! sana tlga pumasa ako...will you pray for me pleeease?! many thanks!

pumapatak na naman

2006-05-17T12:19:00.000+08:00

isang patak...

dalawang patak...

tatlo... =' (

ighie's" post: [sassy girl moment]
a wonderful 100th and looking forward to 1000th...and more ^_^

shet!... bakit ako never pang umabot ng 100 days???? huhuhuhu.....

haaaayyy..... tapos na ang ulan ah?! Mag-aral ka na lang angela...malapit na ang buhay mo!!!!

hayskul class overnyt

2006-05-01T10:48:00.000+08:00

Got this list from andro's blog...sinend ni cheysson... =)

April 29-30, 2006. HS class outing namin sa Fisher's Ecofarm, Dasmariñas Cavite. Saya-saya... Ang kukulit pa din ng boys...saulo pa din ang stepls ng HALAGA...dami nasuka ni cheysson, soooobrrang kulit ni jobart at napagtripan din si carlo. hahaha! Mga pasaway talaga!!

Nakaka-miss...parang di pa din nagbago ang lahat to think na we were 5 years older..haha!

mga nakapunta:

1. fergus
2. rhomen
3. cheysson
4. jerrymel
5. fritz
6. nikolai
7. carlo
8. quiambao
9. kulot
10. robert
11. modesto
12. ighie
13. kris
14. cleo
15. lorraine
15. avigael
16. gladys
17. angela
18. ria joy
19. glaiza p.
20. julie
21. dyan
22. mark neil desagon
23. joanne velasquez

sayang! sa mga di nakapunta..... =)

sabi ni jobart, "Ang saya! dapat talaga every year nagoorganize ng ganon eh! Next year ulit ha.!" haaay, uminom lang naman siya buong magdamag! may pa- 'ugat' pang nalalaman! haha!

missed all of you guys! sana maulit ulit!

KSP - Kulang sa Pansin =)

2006-04-28T00:05:00.000+08:00

I have this friend named Mike. I met him sa Nagcarlan Laguna last year when we had our community immersion. Once lang kameng nagkakita--nung nagvideoke yung group namen sa bahay nila. Nung time na yon, lagi kmeng magkausap. Nagkasundo kme kse kinanta ko yung I'LL BE OVER YOU e tiyempong favorite song din pala niya yon nung time na yon. Kinanta din namin yung Somewhere Down the Road. =)

Noon pa lang, magaan na ang loob namin sa isa't isa. Ang dami na agad naming napagkwentuhan kasama yung isa ko pang kaklase na si Che. Hmm, actually, na-link silang dalawa! hehe, During that time din, tinulungan ko siya makaMOVE ON sa ex niya.. O well, sabi niya ako daw si DR. LOVE. Ang dami ko daw alam. Nag-uunahan pa nga kme mag-move on.hehe,, NAUNA SIYA. Sobrang saya ko for him! Later on, ako din naman, nakapag-move on na din...

We kept our friendship until now at nakakatuwa! Hmmm, constant supplier ko siya ng love quotes! yung pinakamadrama at pinakanakaka-depress na mga love quotes. =)
Nasasabi ko din sa kanya lahat...siguro kse once lang naman kme nagkita tapos feeling ko, kahit na anong malaman niya, sobrang safe yon sa kanya dahil wala naman siyang ibang masasabihan. Ganon din siya sa akin. Tinetxt din niya ako lagi kapag me kwento siya, malungkot man o masaya. Lalong lalo na kapag tungkol sa 'wifey' niya. hehehe,,

At bakit ko nga ba kinwento bigla ang tungkol sa kanya???.....

Dahil....may sinend siya sa akin na sobrang natouch ako...at somehow, nadepress din...Pauwi na siya non galing Biñan galing sa dorm ng wifey niya..Imaginge 1 hr ang biyahe at bwat opportunity na meron, pinupuntahan niya yung gf niya kahit na malayo...(Sa Mandaluyong siya nauwi ngayon..) Sinabi ko pala na ang tiyaga niya! Eto reply niya...

"ala eh, sa kña lng aku ngkagani2. Ewn ku ba kung pnu ako ginamitan ng gayuma nun. Hahaha! Sabi ng ng brkada ku eh s efort plng pnlo na. W/c is d ku iniiCp. Gs2 ko lang mksma at mkita xa. Msya nko nun. =)"

"bsta i luv her so much nd wiling 2 do evrytng 4 her. Wiling dn igivup ung ibng bagay. S drinking habit ku lng medjonppglitan nun. Bsta naginum aku yari aku dun. =)"

Muntik nko maiyak. Sobrang nakaka-touch! Kung kilala ko lang yung wifey niya, I wud tell her na maswerte siya at na mahal na mahal siya ni mike.

Nadepress ako kse me naalala ako bigla. Naalala ko yung ganon na feeling...itago na lang natin siya sa pangalang marshmallows. si marshmallows na una kong naging bf. Si marshmallows ay ganoon dati...nung nanliligaw pa siya. Di yon papayag na lalampas ang isang araw ng hindi ako nakikita...Feel na feel ko noon na important ako at luv na luv ako...Nung naging kme na at nung nagkaproblema na siya sa family...nadamay na yung relationship namin. Dumating na sa point na d siya nagtetxt at hindi din siya nagpupunta sa bahay namin. Torture db?! dalawang buwan kmeng ganon...kaya di naglaon, nag-break na din kme... =(

Ang susunod naman ay itago na natin sa pangalang kitkat. Si kitkat naman, mahina ang loob at mahiyain. First time kse nanligaw at pumasok sa relationship. Ok yung communication namin sa txt, lagi din nagpaparamdam at nafe-feel ko nman na mahal na mahal niya ako...PERO...di siya nagpupunta sa bahay. maraming dahilan, iba't iba...busy din kse at daming impt na kailangang gawin...pero sa dalawang buwan din na kme mga 3-4 times niya lang ako napuntahan sa bahay at yon ay di pa siya nakausap man lang ng aking mga magulang...Eh yun yung demand sa akin nila nanay at tatay--na dapat sa bahay manliligaw! In short, di kme legal...

Naiintindihan ko si kitkat ko...at mahal ko siya hanggang ngayon..kaso...minsan, nararamdaman ko, masyado na siyang nagiging kampante na mahal ko naman siya kaya ang resulta...konti na lang ang effort at minsan, taken for granted na ako. Saklap noh... Ewan ko ba, ganon siguro talaga ako...me pagka-KSP. Kahit na sabihin pang nandiyan naman siya lagi, iba pa din yung pinupuntahan ako dito sa bahay...gumagawa ng 'extra' effort para magkita at gumagawa din ng surprises na creative para skin...Di naman sa super demanding ako...pero ewan! bad na ba ako??? Kaso lang nga...wala ata tlga sa personality niya yung ganon...at naiintindihan ko yon...

Pero, I decide pa din na maghiwalay na muna. Kumbaga, sabi namin sa isa't isa, "Let's have a break, have a kitkat!" Para ayusin ang lahat...yung dito sa bahay...at magsimula ulit...

Kaso lang naisip ko..pano kung di na siya manligaw ulit??? Sa totoo di ko siya kaya tikisin kaya nagiging expressive pa din ako sa kanya kahit na papano. Kaso...pano kung makuntento na lang siya na ganito kame??? Pano yon? Ngayong araw na ito..isang linggo na ulit na di kme nagkikita...nakakamiss kaya! Haayyy, sana kahit papano, makita ko yung extra effort na yon galing sa kanya para naman ma-feel ko pa din na impt ako, na luv na luv ako at na matapang siya para sa akin...sa amin....

Kaya natin ito dba KITKAT?!hehe, =)

summer-saya!

2006-04-27T11:27:00.000+08:00

After the tiring holy-week youth activities, my friends from the parish went to Batangas. April 17-20. =) (rhoi, ate rose, joseph, pj, ate lu-an, ely and me. sayang wala si ferdi, me inaackaso sa UP at si kuya kirby, nasa barko. lol!)

We stayed over our place (bukid) and spent almost three days watching dvds, eating, playing cards, sleeping, eating again, and sleeping again! haha! It's so much fun being with them. We went to Matabungkay Beach and rented a pedal boat worth P150/hr. Apat yung nakasakay sa mismong pedal boat at tatlo ang sabit. Ang tagal tuloy umandar!!!hehe, Napurga din kme sa dami ng Indian Mango!! Saarraaaaapp! Andami naming 'trekking' experience kaya lagi ding pagod at gutom!

Our last night was memorable. We celebrated Ely's birthday, gave him a message in a bottle with our letters in it and one-by-one we told him our wishes. Kahit medyo lasing na...laban pa din! hehe, Dami naming nalaro na cards, tong-its, pusoy dos, pekwa at blaf (di ko lam spelling)! Kahit tight ang budget at walang pera, nakaraos din kme at enjoy sa aming mini-vacation sa batangas. Sa uulitin!! =)

I tried picturetrail gusto ko lang makita ano result. =) Pasensya na, puro pictures ang blog ko...dapat nga ata photo-blog ako meron. hehe,,

bye for now...

2006-04-22T11:48:00.000+08:00

kailangan talaga natin ayusin ang mga bagay-bagay...

let's start all over again...

Kaya natin ito diba?!

I'm not letting go but I guess it's GOODBYE FOR NOW...

All ends are also beginnings. - Mitch Albom

Late Post: -holy-week-

2006-04-20T19:10:00.000+08:00

The Blessed Sacrament: Maundy Thursday...
(Si Ferdi syempre ang gumawa. hehe, galeng!)

Good Friday. The 7 Last Words Team.. :-)
(Ang Siete Palabras ay umikot sa kwento ng buhay ni Pedro. Kung paano siya sumunod, tumalikod at sumunod muli kay Hesus. Ito ay pinamagatang ANG PAGSUNOD NG ISANG ALAGAD...)

MYG sa bahay nila Bea sa Citihomes.
(Gumagawa ng Easter egg para sa Easter Fellowship kinabukasan...)

HAPPY EASTER!
(The balloons are worth P50 and in each balloon you can tie your prayer petitions. The money will go to the feeding program for the children in the parish. )

Mga Kagandahan ng Manuyo Youth Group
(Easter Fellowship. Talo yung Easter egg namin. huhu... )

Counting and Waiting...

2006-04-12T02:26:00.000+08:00

PGH Patients...hope to be with you on May! :-)

Not ever gone...Just moved on

2006-03-27T20:51:00.000+08:00

That's right. Seeing you smile at me after more than a year brings warmth to my heart. I admit I really missed you. That I cannot deny. But that's the end of it. It should be.

I heard you would want a heart-to-heart talk to me soon to clear some things. It made me feel anxious. Maybe because I have supressed so much emotions and I am afraid to blurt it out to you this time. Most especially now that I have learned how to forget that painful feeling. I have learned how to be happy with what happened. I have learned how to move on. Nevertheless, maybe it's a good way to start a good friendship again. Thank you.

After 18 months of me feeling rejected. I am happy enough to know and to feel that you want our friendship back. You are ready now. I wonder what brought you courage to do so. At least, I know that you still want to keep a part of me. I just hope that you are happy for me.

Upon hearing this song, you are the first person that came out of my mind. Though this song sounds bitter---duh! The lyrics fit well to what I felt BEFORE. But despite everything, you taught me so much. I know I will not be who I am today without you--leaving a mark in my life. :-)

BECAUSE OF YOU by Kelly Clarkson

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

"There is no mistake so painful that love cannot forgive,
no past so bitter that love cannot accept and
no hope left so little that we cannot start all over with..."

Oh yeah!

2006-03-23T21:07:00.000+08:00

Badtrip akong umuwi ngayong araw na ito.

Ang saya-saya ko pa naman dahil ang dami kong na-accomplish ngayon. NakapagpaB.E. (blood extraction) ako, metered stamp, photox ng board rating, papicture for ID at NBI clearance.

Ang sumira lang talaga ay noong kukunin ko na ang nameplate sa RCG Recto na March 13 ko pa inorder. Matapos akong paghintayon ng almost an hour, mali-mali pa ang binibigay sa akin. Shet talaga! Umusok talaga ang tainga ko kanina. Akala ko makakauwi ako ng maaga. Nang dahil lang sa labo kausap ng mga taga don at ang tataray pa, past 7pm nko nakauwi. nakakainis talaga!!!! Kakarmahin din sila! Hmmmmpppp!!

O well, ayokong sirain ang kagandahan ko sa bagay na yon. Haaayyy talaga! Malapit ko nang maipasa ang requirements ko para sa PGH. Sana makapagstart na ako not later than May. Excited na din ako magtrabaho. Yey!

=====o*o=====o*o=====o*o=====o*o=====

National Council Licensure Examination (NCLEX(R)) 21 Mar 2006

CONFIRMATION OF NCLEX EXAMINATION - APPOINTMENT

MARIA ANGELA ABIAD MABALE
797 SAN JOSE ST MANUYO
LAS PINAS, 1740

Type of Test: NCLEX-RN

Your NCLEX(R) Examination has been scheduled as indicated below.

Day and Date: Friday, June 09, 2006
Time: 1:45:00 PM
Center: Pearson Professional Center # 50493
Grand Millenium Plaza Room 503, 5th Floor 181 Queens Road, Central
Hong Kong,
85221678568

If any of the appointment information is incorrect, you may reschedule
one full business day (24 hours) prior to your scheduled appointment
through one of the following methods.

* Go to the Pearson VUE NCLEX Candidate website at
www.pearsonvue.com/nclex.

PVAPCustomerService@pearson.com

=====o*o=====o*o=====o*o=====o*o=====

Oo totoo, June 9 na ang exam ko. Tunay na. Dapat na talaga ako mag-review! Napapagalitan na ako ng orange ko dahil sa pagiging pasaway ko. Tama bang pag-awayan din yon?! huhuhu! Kasalanan ko naman talaga. O well anyway, basta yon... gudlak sken sa pag-aaral. hehe,,

Hmmm, check nyo pala friendster ko! bago background...pang-summer! Starfish sa sand. Cute! At ang music ay Breathe ni Faith Hill na may kasamay Final Fantasy na video. At may kissing scene don ha. ahihihi!

Isa pa, adik pala ako sa Jewel in the palace! As in! Mahal ko na ata si Kapitan! Natapos ko na ang 70+ cds...nagalit, kinilig at umiyak ako kasama ni Jang-geum! Nakakatuwa kung paano niya nilampasan ang mga pagsubok niya sa buhay! Ang galing talaga! Will post more pictures soon! :-)

Brain Attack

2006-03-11T14:23:00.000+08:00

My mother is my patient.

Name: Nelia A. Mabale
Age: 49
Address: Las Pinas City
Height: 5'2
Weight: 186 lbs

2 weeks prior to admission (PTA): client experienced occasional dizziness and headache. She took Aspirin once and felt better.

1 day PTA: client experienced weakness and dizziness. BP was taken and it ranges from 140-160/80-90. Her normal BP is 110/70.

On the day of Admission (March 6, 2006): She still had difficulty in walking alone. When she was taking a bath, she was trying to raise her right leg thrice and she failed. She was alarmed when she suddenly dropped the 'tabo'. BP was taken and it was 140/90. She asked her nurse-bum-daughter Angela to accompany her for a check up. Before leaving the house, she was trying to sign the check and realized that her handwriting is not the same as before and she cannot write straight on the line. She knew for herself that there is something wrong so when she reached Manila Doctor's Hospital, she asked to be admitted.

Subjective Cues:
- "Iba ang pkiramdam ko sa aking kanang paa at braso. Nakakaramdam pero parang manhid. Kung piso ang pakiramdam ng kaliwa, singkwenta lang ang kanan."
- reported right sided weakness and numbness
- dizziness

Objective Cues:
Blood Pressure: 130/80
Heart Rate: 75
Temperature: 36.2 C
Respiratory Rate: 18
- (+) clumsiness of right arm
- difficulty in balance and walking

Significant Diagnostic Findings:
CT Scan Impression: Lacunar Infarct, Left lenticulo-capsular region
Carotid Doppler: Thrombosis in the left internal carotid artery, partial flow
Cholesterol: 254.83 mg/dl (N= <201 n=" <151" n=" 70.27-100.00">

Nursing Diagnosis:
Risk for Injury related to neurological impairment
Potential for Enhanced Home Maintenance

Home Medications:
Citicoline 2cc PO BID
Trental 400 mg/tab PO BID
Aspilet 80mg/tab PO OD
Neurobion 1 tab PO OD
Lipitor 20mg/tab PO OD @ HS
Losartan 50mg/tyab PO OD @ HS
Fornidd 500mg/tab PO TID

Interventions:
1. Assist patient in activities of daily living.
2. Discuss with client importance of strict compliance in the following therapeutic regimen: diet (low fat, low salt, low sugar), blood pressure control, exercise, weight control and prescribed medications.
3. Advise client not to drive unless already allowed by the physician.
4. Advise to attend therapy sessions.
5. Encourage verbalization of feelings--anxiety, etc.
6. Reiterate to other relatives the prescribed medications and recommended lifestyle changes.

=====o*o=====o*o=====o*o=====

Being with my mother for five consecutive days (March 6-10) in the hospital is a fulfilling experience for me as a nurse and as her daughter. On our first two days, she was really dependent to me in her ADLs. She cannot walk, go to the bathroom, take a bath, dress up and eat all by herself.

My father was with me and he also slept there for four nights. One night I slept on the chair beside the bed and my back really hurt. The next day, I placed a banig and a comforter on the floor. Imagine! I would wake up early, prepare her clothes, assist her in taking a bath and prepare her food.

I was somehow depressed by her situation most especially when everything she held on her right hand kept on falling. I could not show her that I am extremely worried about her condition because I wanted to be strong for her. I knew from that start that it was stroke. And I also understand its possible complications.

God is really good. I really thank the people who prayed for her. Visitors also kept on coming and a lot of people texted us. I was deeply touched with their concern. My nanay is already well now. Though there is still decreased sensation on her right arm I have faith that she will continue to recover well. It was really heartwarming when your mother is your patient. You will feel in your heart the love, sincerity and humility of taking care of her.

I Love You Nanay very much!!!

Simon Pedro

2006-03-08T09:31:00.000+08:00

Siya ang nagkaila kay Hesus nang tatlong beses. Ngunit siya pa rin ang pinagbilinan ng simbahan. Ano nga ba ang pagkakatulad natin kay Simon Pedro?

Sa kanya umikot ang buong retreat namin ng Community of the Living Water noong March 3-5, 2006 sa Villa Sta. Luisa, Tagaytay. Tunay ngang tulad din tayo lahat ni Simon Pedro sa kwento ng ating pagsunod kay Hesus.

I won't go into details ng buong retreat pero here's my personal title for the sessions.

Session #1: THE CATCH

"When he (Jesus) had finished speaking, he said to Simon, "Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch." Luke 5: 4

"Then Jesus said to Simon, "Don't be afraid; from now on you will catch men." So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him." Luke 5:10-11

Session #2: WHO AM I TO YOU?

"But what about you?" he asked. "Who do you say I am?" Simon Peter answered, "You are the Christ,[a] the Son of the living God."

Jesus replied, "Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by man, but by my Father in heaven. And I tell you that you are Peter,the Rock, and on this rock I will build my church...I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven..." Matthew 16: 15-19

*** I was stunned with this question. If I am in front of Jesus, and he asked me this, what will I tell him?!

Session #3: THE ONLY WAY

Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God." John 6:68-69

Session #4: WE ARE BROKEN

After a little while, those standing near said to Peter, "Surely you are one of them, for you are a Galilean." He began to call down curses on himself, and he swore to them, "I don't know this man you're talking about."

Immediately the rooster crowed the second time. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken to him: "Before the rooster crows twice you will disown me three times." And he broke down and wept. Mark 14: 70-72

***Peter was proud, careless and afraid. However, he accepted the consequences of what he did. Moreso, he accepted that he is broken.

Session #5: DO YOU LOVE ME?

The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."

Jesus said, "Feed my sheep. I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go." 19Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, "Follow me!" John 21: 17-19

***Th question of Jesus is an invitation to new life. This is a great challenge. How do we really show our love to Him? How do we commit ourselves in the past? What is the quality of our commitment to God in the different areas of our life?

This is a calling to do things out of LOVE. Our essence is love. And in the end, we will be asked, HOW DO WE LOVE?

Only More Love

2006-03-02T19:15:00.000+08:00

KAPAG...

...hindi mo na maipagkaila sa sarili mo na nasasaktan ka na
...anuman ang pigil mo ay naaapektuhan ka na din
...tila may kumukurot sa iyong puso kapag hindi OK ang lahat
...nag-aalala ka at nagtatampo kahit sa simpleng bagay lang
...may mga bagay na hindi mo maipaliwanag
...madaling kang masaktan ngunit madali ring magpatawad
...kaya mong magsakripisyo para don
...ito'y nakapagbibigay sa iyo ng ngiti, kapayapaan at kalayaan
...naniniwala ka na lilipas din ang lungkot
...madaling umunawa
...masarap ang pakiramdam kahit na pasaway, hehe
...nagiging matapang ang duwag,
...masaya :-D
...lab-dub, lab-dub, lab-dub...

"I have found the paradox
that if I love until it hurts,
then there is no hurt,
but only more love."
--Mother Teresa

Masaya ako...

2006-02-22T09:33:00.000+08:00

Kase nakasurvive yung Lolo Dado ko sa bypass surgery niya last Feb 15. Di pa siya nakakauwi pero OK na siya. Kaya din ako di masyado nakapagupdate noon kse nagbantay ako sa ospital...

Dahil natutuwa ako sa mga members namin sa MYG. Sweet kse sila at appreciative. Makukulet din! Nag-valentines meeting kme last Sunday... :-)

Sapagkat malapit na ang retreat ng Community. March 3-5. Silent Retreat yon sa Tagaytay! Excited nko!!

Kase interview ko na sa PGH bukas!

Dahil nakasama ako sa meeting ng UGNAYON CORE ng Baryo Manuyo kagabi (Leaders ng Manuyo)...

Dahil naging OK yung concept namin ni Rhoi na about kay Peter ang 7 Last Words na ipeperform ng youth sa Good Friday..

Dahil araw -araw akong kumakain ng orange...hehe,,

Kahit na ang daming utos sa akin ni Nanay lately at minsan di ko na siya maintindihan dahil minsan parang wla na akong tamang ginawa... :'c

Kahit na ang dami kong ginagawa para sa ibang tao at di ko na mabigyan ng oras ang sarili ko...

Kahit na di pa kme nakakapag-meeting ng Manuyo Core dahil di magtugma-tugma sa sked...

Kahit na muntik na akong tuluyang malow self-esteem kagabi dahil sa masasakit na narinig ko...huhu... bawal ba talaga ang mataba sa mundo?! At kapag mataba ka, lalaitin ka na ng tao???

Dahil alam ko na kahit na minsan di tayo ok..mas marami pa ring dahilan para maging masaya at patuloy tayong bibigyan ng Diyos ng pagmamahal at pag-asa!

Buntong-hininga

2006-02-06T00:10:00.000+08:00

Nakapasa ako sa PGH. Ang saya! Ilang araw bago ko malaman ang resulta, natakot ako maigi. Habang nagre2view kse ako, narealize ko na ang dami kong maling sinagot at may mga carelessness akong ginawa...Natakot ako kse ayokong magretake. Nakasalalay ang aking pangalan bilang taga-UP. Alam mo na...ang expectations sa akin ng mga tao, lalo na ng mga magulang ko ay malaki! Nahihiya naman ako kung ibabagsak ko pa ang exam na yon. Anyway,nakapasa na naman ako! At talaga namang napa BUNTONG-HININGA
ako sa aking nalaman! O well, at least, malapit na...at paninindigan ko na talaga ang PGH!hehe

=====o*o=====o*o=====o*o=====o*o=====
DENIED.

Hindi na-renew ang aking US Tourist Visa. [Nag-expire noong December] Huhuhu...Di tuloy ako makakapag-exam sa GUAM. Sa Hongkong na lang ako... Mas malaking gastos, haaay, pero ganon talaga! Feeling ng Consul, mag-TNT lang ako don o kaya magaasawa ng kano. duh! hmmmppp!

=====o*o=====o*o=====o*o=====o*o=====
I gave a recollection sa Marist School sa Marikina last Saturday...Ang topic... The Lord of the Rings! Ito ay sa mga pasaway na all boys Grade 6 students! Kahit na ang restless at makukulit ang mga bata, nakakatuwa dahil ang lalim ng mga refections nila. Nakakatouch pa nga yung mga realizations nila eh! It was such an inspiring experience...

=====o*o=====o*o=====o*o=====o*o=====
Favorite color: Orange
Favorite fruit: Orange

Orange - *noun roundish reddish-yellow citrus fruit; its colour; tree bearing it. *adjective orange-coloured. *what the color means: sweet, loyal, honest, trustworthy, understanding. *tagalog term: kahel

An orange a day keeps the nurse delighted! ;-)

=====o*o=====o*o=====o*o=====o*o=====

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness.
Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connected to your soul.
You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable.
Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.

You have great vision and can be very insightful.
In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself.
Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend.
You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Halo-Halong Naiisip

2006-01-30T21:42:00.000+08:00

Natapos ang exam ko sa PGH noong friday. Shet, kapag naaalala ko ang mga mali kong sagot, natatangahan ako sa sarili ko. At kinakabahan ako sa resulta. Di kse pangalan ko lang ang dala ko. Pati na din ang pangalan ng UPCN...haaayyy, sana wag akong magretake...

In fainess, sumakit ang paa ko ha... kse naman, nagmaganda ako at nagslocks kahit na exam pa lang. Eh ang taas ng takong ng sapatos ko. Oo, di ako sanay! Gusto ko kseng magmukhang mature. At tipong seryoso ako sa pag-aapply ko... hehehe, yan tuloy napagkamalan akong doktor ng taxi na sinakyan ko. hihi... at mabait ang driver skin dahil kahit na kulang ang barya ko noong umagang yon, sa UP pa din niya ako ibinaba. Thank you po kuya! Well, iba na talaga kapag may charm! ;-D

=====o*o=====*o*=====o*o=====
Gumawa kame ng souvenirs ni ate joan (kasama ko sa community) kahapon! Mga boteng lalagyan ng massage oil sa loob! Ang cute! Tropical ang theme ng wedding niya sa March 18 at ang ang buong CLW (Community of the Living Water) ang naghahanda. Excited na kame para don...

At dahil nga ikakasal na siya, magjojogging kame bukas papuntang golden haven. Kailangan na daw niyang pumayat at sasama kame ni bevs sa kanya. hehehe,, Aaraw-arawin na namin!

=====o*o=====*o*=====o*o=====
Di nako manhid! Matagal na pero ngayon, sigurado na ako. Wala lang, ang saya pala talaga! Sana ay maging maayos na ang lahat at magpatuloy na ang aking paggaling! Thank you po, dear God!

=====o*o=====*o*=====o*o=====
Interview ko na sa February 1 para sa US Visa ko. 8am. Mag-isa lang ako. Sana maapprove ako para sa Guam nko take ng NCLEX. At least andon si Tita Pet. Aral na ulit. Malapit na ang buhay mo! OK?!

22 years and counting...

2006-01-23T13:48:00.000+08:00

Last January 21, my parents celebrated their 22nd wedding anniversary. Umagang umaga ng Sabado, nagsimba na sila magkasama. Pagkatapos, umuwi sila ng Batangas kasama ang tatlong bata kong kapatid. Naisip namin surpresahin sila kaya nagdesisyon kmeng sumunod doon sa hapon. May pasok kse si sam kaya yun.

Surprise and pagdating namen. Mga 9 pm na kme dumating. They do no have the slightest idea na pupunta kme don. Kitang kita ang reaction nila! Bukod pa don, may inihanda kmeng program! Parang question and answer tapos dapat magmamatch ang sagot nila.. Nakakatwa kse mgkaiba yung sinagot nila dun sa question na KAILAN NAGING SILA... at SAAN SILA UNANG NAG-DATE??? Hihihihi... Kpag mali ang sagot, they will eat a monay. We brought dalawang malaking monay na korteng heart (sila yun) at anim na maliliit na monay (kmeng magkakapatid).

After the game, each one of us (anim na magkakapatid) gave a message through a pattern...

SORI PO DAHIL...

SALAMAT SA...

SANA AY...

After naming anim, sila naman, sa isa't isa! Naiyakan kme sa part na ito. Huhuhu.... After the exchange of messages, we gave the photo frame of their pictures, mula pa nung kasal nila and until now. Tapos we showed them na sa ilalim ng mga monay, may mga pieces of paper na doon nakasulat yung messages ng ibang tao for them. Madami din kmeng nahingan ng message kahit biglaan lang!

Sooo sweet and a very intimate experience for the whole family. So sorry I got too emotional that I was not able to take pictures. Yup, nakiiyak din kme sa kanila. O well, si tatay syempre, di umiyak...pero halata na pinigilan lang niya. hmmppp! First time kse namin gumawa ng surprise for them. Nakakatuwa!!

=====o*o=====o*o=====o*o=====
Pinasalamatan ko ang aking mga magulang sa paghubog sa akin bilang AKO ngayon. Alam ko, na kung ano man ang aking mga narating, ang aking katauhan, prinsipyo, at mga katangian ay dahil sa klase ng pamilyang aking nagisnan at kung paano nila ako pinalaki. Pinasasalamatan ko ang paghihigapit nila sa amin, ang kanilang mga pangaral at higit sa lahat at PAGMAMAHAL na hindi sila nagsawang iparamdam sa amin. Nagpapasalamat din ako sa pagsama nila sa amin sa pag-abot sa aming mga pangarap. Na kahit na nahihirapan na sila, na kahit wala nang natitira para sa kanila at kahit na kailangan nilang magsakripisyo ay ginagawa nila para lamang matugunan ang aming mga pangangailangan. Mahal na mahal ko sila. Sana ay matularan ko ang klase ng pamilya na kanilang binuo. Isa silang huwarang mga magulang! Ang kanilang pagmamahalan at matatag na samahan ang nagsilbing pundasyon ng aming tahanan.

Marami pang taon ng pagsasama, pagmamahalan at pagiging-ISA! Mahal po namin kayo!!!!

=====o*o=====o*o=====o*o=====
Lord, I thank you for this pleasant surprise. For giving me a certain kind of joy and freedom that I cannot fully explain. Though there are fears and uncertainties, I know that you are there to continuously guide us and shower us with you blessing. May your light be a source of strength each day. Thank you po talaga!

=====o*o=====o*o=====o*o=====
Four days to go before the PGH Exam...Mag-aral ka angela, pleeeaasee!!! :-)

False Alarm

2006-01-18T23:26:00.000+08:00

Ang mga huling salita na nanatili sa akin matapos kong makausap si Marjmallows... Haaayyy... Salamat marj sa muli mong pagtampal sa akin sa maraming pagkakataon na nalulungkot ako, naguguluhan at nagiging matigas ang ulo. False Alarm lang pala yon. I thought it would already be something nice, something that can make me happy, something that will inspire me. Yun pala tapos na. Haaayyyy ulit. I will try my best na hindi na umiyak ulit (At least iba na ang dahilan ngayon! hehe,,). Thank you for protecting me. Mwaaahhh!

=====o*o=====o*o=====o*o=====
"I am just like everone else who listens to their heart: a person enchanted by the mystery of life. Who is open to miracles, who experiences joy and enthusiasm for what they do. It's just that the other, afraid of disappointment, kept me from taking action." - Paulo Coelho

All this time, I thought, I was the one who is not ready. Hindi pala. O well, shit happens. And I'm getting used to it. Sinabi ko na dati sa sarili not to trust anyone. And now, dahil sa tigas ng ulo ko, I ended up crying again. AGAIN this time. Gaaaadddd.... Do I really deserve this?! Sinumpa ba talaga ako??? To hell with that curse!

Reminiscing SJA Days

2006-01-17T23:16:00.000+08:00

Natuloy yung get together naming HS Friends last Jan 14. Sino-sino ang present?!

Ako. Dyan. Kris. Julie. Darell.
Ighie. Glyza. Teresa. Cleo. Ria.
Grabeeehh...sumakit ang panga ko kakatawa sa mga kwentuhan namin. Tungkol sa mga nangyari nung HS, sa pag-update sa bawat isa at sa mga kwento tungkol sa future plans. Actually, bitin sa kuwentuhan! Kaso lang madaling araw na. Narealize namin, bakit ngayon lang namin ito ginawa. Kaya naman, sinabi namin sa sarili namin na dapat masundan ito!

Nakakatuwa din isipin na malalaki na kame. I mean, dati, sabay sabay pa kmeng kumakanta ng lupang hinirang at nakapila sa mainit na Boy's Quad, nagkukwentuhan ng mga crush namin, nagtutuksuhan, nagkokopyahan ng assignments, nagtatakbuhan kpag break, naglulupagi sa gym para magjackstone (nung grade school), bumubili ng ice cream, tokneneng o pork strips sa labas ng school, nagkocommercial kay ginang escorial at gumaggawa ng antenna...pero ngayon, dalaga na kami! Kung dati nanghihingi pa din kme lagi ng baon sa mga magulang namin, ngayon ay may trabaho na ang iba. Kung dati mga crush2 lang, ngayon ay mga boyfriend at pagaasawa na ang usapan. Nakakatuwa kse, nothing has changed really. We are still the same old classmates in SJA. Ganon pa din ang personality ng bawat isa. Kung sino ang maingay dati, sila pa din hanggang ngayon. Kung sino ang late lagi dati, sila pa din ngayon. (Ako yun!) Kung sino ang medyo tahimik, tahimik pa din hanggang ngayon...Kung sino ang toxic mag-aral at matalino talaga dati pa, sila pa din ang laude laude ngayon. hehehe,,

Di man namin nalubos-lubos ang kwentuhan, masaya pa din...Ang makita sila ay sapat na. At alam kong sila ay mananatili kong mga kaibigan habambuhay. Iba din talaga ang pakiramdam. Haaayyy, sana maulit na ulit. Ang saya saya talaga! Pero sa susunod, mas madami na kami dapat. Me dalawa kmeng nagdo2ktor na hindi nakasama dahil me exam sila, me nagre2view para sa board exam, yung iba, di nagreply at yung isa ay nasa bday ng bf niya---na nagtatampo pa nga sa amin dahil hindi kme nakapunta... O well, basta. Mauulit naman ito ulit. Mas mahabang kwentuhan, at halakhakan!!!

=====o*o=====o*o=====o*o=====
Inaayos ko ngayon ang US Visa ko. Plano kse na sa Guam ako magexam. Para mas tipid dahil may tita ako don. Sana lang ay maparenew namin. March/ April ako mageexam. two months to review. Kaya ko ito. Think Positive...Gaaaaddddd...kinakabahan ako talaga!!!

=====o*o=====o*o=====o*o=====
May sked na ako ng exam sa PGH--January 27, 2006. 9 am. Kinakabahan din ako dito. Ewan ko ba...Haaay, seryosong buhay na ito. Nurse ako. At dapat ko nang ibahagi ang pagkanurse ko sa iba. Gooossshhhh.... Guide me Lord Please! Decided na akong magPGH. Marami akong dahilan kung bakit nanatili ako sa UP-PGH at ito ay ipinagdasal ko na at pinagisipang mabuti. Di ko pala naipass ang aking requirements dahil wala si Mam Abaquin at di ko napapirmahan ang pledge of commitment ko...sayang! Hapon na kse nung nagpunta ako. Sa friday na lang. Nakapgpray din ako sa pgh chapel. A moment alone. Nakakatuwa. :-)

=====o*o=====o*o=====o*o=====
Naglaba nga pala ako kanina. Wala lang...At pagkatapos, napunta kme ni nanay sa divisoria. Bday din pla ng pinsan kong si JEB. Di na naman ako nakapag-aral. Lagot na talaga ako.

=====o*o=====o*o=====o*o=====
Haaayy, ano na ang nangyayari sa atin?! :'c

"The ship is safest when it's in port,
but that's not what ships were built for."
Paulo Coelho from The Pilgrimage

Matapos ang paghihintay...

2006-01-13T23:28:00.000+08:00

At last, dumating na ang eligibility ko from California Board of Registered Nursing. At isa lang ang nasabi ko...Shet. Kinabahan ako bigla, nanginig ang buo kong katawan at nanlamig ang aking pakiramdam. Matapos kong ipasa sa pearson vue ang form na nandito, maghihintay na lang ako ng 2 weeks at matatanggap ko na ang aking ATT (Authorization To Test). Pagkatapos, pde na akong magpaiskedyul ng exam any time. Shet ulit.

Mabilis na lang yon, malapit na yon...Isang hingahan na lang! Hindi pa ako nagaaral ng maayos!!! Kinakabahan na ako!!! Inhale... Exhale... Waaaahhhhh!!!! Kailangan ko ng anxiolytic! huhuhu...

=====*o*=====*o*=====o*o*=====
Nagbadminton ako kanina sa flick Sucat. Kasama ko si Ate Eilleen, Ate Rose at Kuya Ers. Ang saya! Ang tagal kong hindi nakapagbadminton. Kaso nga lang, kumain kame sa Chowking pagkatapos. Kumain akong ng masarap na tofu at petite na halo-halo. Haaayyy, weakness ko talaga ang kahit na anong malamig na pagkain. Kainis, useless ang naburn sa badminton.

=====*o*=====*o*=====o*o*=====
Umuwi kme agad nung 10pm na kse Jewel in the Palace na. Adik na ako sa palabas na ito. Ang gwapo ni kapitan. Ang galing ni Jang-Geum at astig ang pagkakabraid sa mga buhok nila pati ang pagkakaunat dahil sa gel. hehehe... gusto ko din maging magaling sa pagluluto. Hahainan ko ng masasarap ang aking magiging pamilya. Pero matagal pa yon! NCLEX reviewer ang dapat ko munang pag-aralan ngayon. Shet ulit. Naalala ko na naman.

=====*o*=====*o*=====o*o*=====

LSS pa din ako sa Feels Like Home (Tingnan ang lyrics sa ibaba!). Naiiyak kse ako, parang bagay na bagay siya sa kasal. Napakaganda din ng mensahe.

=====*o*=====*o*=====o*o*=====
Nag-usap nga pala kme ni i_galing kong friend na si Ighie kahapon sa fone. Nakaktuwa ang tagal naming nag-usap. After ilang years mula nung hayskul. Namiss ko siya sobra at excited na ako bukas kase makikita ko sila. Sina dyan, kris, julie, ria, cleo, glyza, ay-gee, at yung iba pang hahabol. Biglaan lang ito at all girls at bawal magsama ng bf. hehehe, Magkikita kme ulit, bonding at update lang sa isa't isa. Sa Starbucks, Pamplona 7:30 pm. Excited na akong makita ulit sila. Yehey!

=====*o*=====*o*=====o*o*=====
Sana hindi ka takot. Bakit nararamdaman ko na takot ka din? Wala ka bang tiwala sa sarili mo? Kung takot tayo pareho, ano na ang mangyayari sa ating dalawa niyan? Sana makita ko na matapang ka. Kung hindi ko yon makikita sayo, wag na lang. Dahil sa iyo lang din ako kukuha ng lakas at tapang. Wala akong ibang mapagkukunan non.

Sa iyo lang...

: Ang lamig ng panahon! Kahit walang aircon, akala ko meron. Lamiiiggggggg! Sarap ng may ka-hug... Unan ang tinutukoy ko. Kaw talaga. hmmp! Hindi naman totoo na malas ang araw na ito. Swerte pa nga dahil natanggap ko na ang eligibility ko...Fourteen na bukas...Favorite number ko na! Saya!

Finally

2006-01-08T15:31:00.000+08:00

During the latter part of the year 2005, I was very much confused and indecisive on which path would I take. I told myself that before the year ends, I should have a decision for myself --whether to take up MED or work as a nurse in PGH. I prayed hard for that decision. I considered a lot of things. My capacity and desire to study again for so many years, the situation of the family especially financially, my personal desires and goal and of course the path that God wanted me to lead.

Now, I have decided to work. To pass my NCLEX and then work for three years in PGH and then leave the country. I don't know, maybe because I have accepted now that leaving the country is not a bad idea after all, considering the status of our country and the financial needs that my family would encounter. I have a personal desire to be able to give BAON to my three younger siblings. I wanted them to be able to study in college and take up whatever course they want. Also, I do not want to burden my parents any longer with my own tuition, baon, etc. I wanted them to later on relax and have time for themselves. Being the eldest, I have silently assumed that responsibilty. To look after my younger brothers and sisters and somehow meet their needs when my parents are old already.

Aside from that, I think I will be a better nurse than a doctor. I have seen the beauty of nursing. Though a lot of people only regard us as dependent to doctors, I know it's not true. We have the capacity to bring light to patients, we can make a difference to them, we can stay to their side through their hopeless times and we can touch them so that they can feel the warmth of our presence. That is what I would want to give to patients. It's more than the treatment through drugs or surgery. I am also not sure for myself if I would still have patience to study in detail about the drugs and its effects and also about the itsy bitsy thingy about other treatments.

My desire to be a doctor is not yet totally gone. Maybe only not this time. I can never tell. There is so much opportunities ahead and I am open to anything. But for now, I will practice nursing. I may not be the best one but I will see to it that I will make a difference to the lives of other people. I will take up MASTER's degree and hopefully, PhD. See??? I can be a doctor in this field. Doctor of Nursing. Tomorrow I will go to UP and PGH to complete my requirements for application. Many patients are already waiting for me. See you all, SOON. I just hope that my ATT will arrive already so that I can take my Nurse Licensure Exam for California, pass the (NCLEX) exam and be hired to PGH the soonest possible time...

Here are my IDs after graduation. Philippine Nurses' Asscociation ID,
UP Alumni ID,UP College of Nursing Alumni ID
and my professional License.
At last! My license will not be found sleeping on my wallet anymore... hehehe,, It can now breathe and be welcomed to the world... :)

Ssshhh...

2006-01-07T00:16:00.000+08:00

Masaya ako!
ilang araw na.
un lng... wala na akong ibang masabi...
details? SECRET! hehe,,
(^.____,^)

Songs in my Heart

2006-01-05T21:50:00.000+08:00

FEELS LIKE HOME
by Chantal Kreviazuk

Somethin' in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself
Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms
There's somethin' in your voice, makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life

If you knew how lonely my life has been
And how long I've been so alone
And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along
And change my life the way you've done

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

A window breaks, down a long, dark street
And a siren wails in the night
But I'm alright, 'cause I have you here with me
And I can almost see, through the dark there is light

Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me
And how long I've waited for your touch
And if you knew how happy you are making me
I never thought that I'd love anyone so much

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way the back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

HEAVEN KNOWS (NO FRONTIERS)
by The Corrs

[SHARON:]
If life is a river and your heart is a boat
And just like a water baby, baby born to float
And if life is a wild wind that blows way on high
And your heart is Amelia dying to fly
Heaven knows no frontiers and I've seen heaven in your eyes

[CAROLINE:]
And if life is a bar room in which we must wait
'Round the man with his fingers on the ivory gates
Where we sing until dawn of our fears and our fates
And we stack all the dead men in self addressed crates

[BOTH:]
In your eyes faint as the singing of a lark
That somehow this black night
Feels warmer for the spark
Warmer for the spark
To hold us 'til the day
When fear will lose its grip
And heaven has its ways

Heaven knows no frontiers
And I've seen heaven in your eyes

[SHARON:]
If your life is a rough bed of brambles and nails
And your spirit's a slave to man's whips and man's jails

[CAROLINE:]
Where you thirst and you hunger for justice and right
And your heart is a pure flame of man's constant night

[BOTH:]
In your eyes faint as the singing of a lark
That somehow this black night
Feels warmer for the spark
Warmer for the spark
To hold us 'til the day when fear will lose its grip
And heaven has its ways
And heaven has its ways
When all will harmonise
And you know what's in our hearts
The dream will realise

Heaven knows no frontiers
And I've seen heaven in your eyes
Heaven knows no frontiers
And I've seen heaven in your eyes

Yester-days

2006-01-02T23:27:00.000+08:00

Ano kaya ang pinagkakaabalahan ni Angela noong nakaraang mga araw?!

Alamin natin...

December 17 - 18, 2005

Recollection ng Manuyo Youth Group... hehe,,
Theme: STAR LIGHT...STAR BRIGHT...
***tungkol sa stars ang lahat ng session! asteeegggg!

December 18

Ang FANTASERYE Christmas Party ng Community of the Living Water! Present and cast ng Encantadia, Darna, Sugo at Kampanerang Kuba!
Ako si Valentina ang babaeng ahassss!!!!

***Ang mga sumunod na araw ay ginugol ko sa paghahanda para sa debut ng aking mahal na kapatid na si SAM. :)

December 24

Simbang gabi together with Community of the Living Water
Di ko nabuo, may tatlong absent ako... huhuhu... Nagkasakit kse ako... :'(

December 25

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I just stayed at home and finished the ppt presentation for Sam...

December 26

Samantha's debut... Sumayaw kame ng Waltz at Ever After. Pati din pala Don't Go Breaking my Heart. Tapos ang buong family ay kumanta ng HUWAG KANG MATAKOT... a very touching and memorable experience! Gumawa din kme ng video ng friends niya atsaka powerpoint presentation ng pictures niya. Naging masaya si Samantina alam ko!!!

December 27

Look at these flowers. These were arranged by Ferdi for Ate Jane's wedding. Astig noh!? Imbes na red carpet, banig ang ginamit. Ang bouquet ay may mga prutas. Buti na lang di niya nilagyan ng pakwan. hehehe,, Kakaiba talaga!

BEFORE

AFTER

Wedding Committee din kame sa kasal...Ang gaganda namin ano?! Pagkatapos, we celebrated kuya ping's birthday sa malate. Waaahhh! Lasing nko nyan...

December 28 - January 1

Anim na ulo. Anim na magkakapatid.Matapos ang ilang araw ng pagkapagod, nagpunta kami sa bukid sa batangas at doon muli nagpahinga. Doon na din kame nagcelebrate ng bagong taon! Ang saya! Ang sarapppp! Haaaayyy....

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Stressed Out

2005-12-19T15:13:00.000+08:00

Masama ang pakiramdam ko ngayon. Mula kse nung birthday ko, nung Dec.14 - wed, wla na akong matinong tulog at stressed na stressed nko.

Noong araw bday ko, nagkaroon ako ng pagkakataong mag-isa upang magmuni muni para sa aking sarili at noong gabi, nagpunta a bahay ang mga kaibigan ko sa parish. Madaling araw na sila umuwi dahil sa videoke. Nakapagenjoy kmeng lahat.! Ang saya!

Noong Dec. 15 ng umaga, inihanda ko na rin ang mga bagay2 para sa recollection ng Manuyo Youth Group (MYG). Ang theme ng reco na ito ay Starlight...Starbright...! Ito ay tungkol sa mga stars. Napakaganda ng programa! Syempre dahil kme ang may gawa noon! ginawa na din namin ang invitation ni sam para sa debut niya. Nagpraktis na din para sa opening dance dito sa bahay namin. Noong gabi naman, nagkaroon kame ng pastoring group at ipinagdiwang namin ang kaarawan ko at ni Ate Anlyne. Ang dami nilang surpresa para sa amin! Sobraang saya! Isang oras lang ang pahinga naming lahat dahil nagpraktis kme para sa palayok dance para sa unang araw ng simbang gabi. Kahit puyaaat, nakaya pa din ng powers ko sumayaw. hehehe,

Kinaumagahan, Dec.16, ipinagpatuloy ko ang paghahanda para sa reco. Noong hapon, naghouse to house ako sa mga bata para ipagpaalam sila sa kanilang mga magulang.Nakakpagod, ilang beses kong nauyod ang buong Manuyo! Noong gabi na, nagpunta naman kme kina Ate Anlyne dahil may handaan siya.! Kainan ulit! hehehehe,, Alas onse na ng gabi kami umuwi galing sa kanila pero nagawa pa naming magmeeting ng committee para sa christmas party ng community. Oha, kinarir ko na lahat! Alas-dos na ng madaling araw kme natapos! O dba? puyat ulit. Nagsimbang gabi ako matapos ang isang oras at kalahati na tulog.

Sabado, araw na ng christmas party at reco ng MYG. Umaga pa lang, naghanda na kami ni shiela para sa materilas at decor. Subalit, di natuloy ang christmas party ng hapon sa di magandang kadahilanan. ang buong reco ay natuloy at di man naging maganda ang aking mood ng buong reco namin, naalis naman ang aking pagod kapag nakikita ko ang mga members na masaya!

Alas singko ng hapon na nung Linggo natapos ang reco. Sinundan naman namin ito ng Christmas Party ng Community na FANTASERYE ang tema. Ako nga pala si Valentina, ang babaeng ahas! hehehe, Sobrang nag-enjoy ang lahat! Ang masaya pa nito, game na game at laki talaga ng effort ng mga tao para lamang i-depict ang kanilang character. Nandoong ang mga sugo, darna, encantadia at kampanerang kuba! ang saya talga! Ang dami ko din gifts na naiuwi. Hehehe,, Alas onse na ng gabi ako nakauwi... Pagod talaga! Muntik na kong hindi makaabot ng simbang gabi kanina!

Matapos ang sunod-sunod na araw ng pagkapagod, pagkapuyat at pag-iisip, heto ako ngayon...masakit ang buong katawan. inuubo ng matindi, sinisipon maigi, walang boses at gasgas ang lalamunan, mainit ang pakiramdam at wala nang masyadong energy. Haaayyy, nga naman, di dapat inaabuso ang katawan. Pero di pa tapos ang mga gawain. Debut pa ni samantina at kasal ni ate jane -usherette ako. Goodluck sa akin. Dapat gumaling na ako.....

On Letting Go and Moving On

2005-12-15T10:06:00.000+08:00

Nothing beats the relief of knowing within yourself that you have finally LET GO. That at last, you are very sure that you have moved on...well, at least 95%. No more sleppless nights, no more tears coming out from my eyes, no more dsypnea (difficulty of breathing), no more what ifs, and no more heartaches. I have hurt enough. I have cried enough. I have hoped that everything will later on go well between the two of us but now, it's enough. It has been a year and three months. My heart grew tired already. And now, it has learned to pick up its pieces again -hoping that in time, it will be wiling to love, to trust, to risk and to be hurt again. It has learned its lesson... It feels realy really good!!!

Let me share with you a part of the article My Moving On Letter from peyups.com. It is somewhat similar to my realizations and reflections.

Thank you for everything...for taking away my insecurities; for showing me that people do love me for who I am; for making me understand that people I love will hurt me but it doesn't necessarily mean they love me any less, and that when they do hurt me, it is possible to forgive, forget and move on with life; for making me realize it is possible to trust again after getting hurt.

Thank you too for giving me the most painful lesson in my life thus far...that the moment you love someone you have given him the capacity to hurt you, that how much you hurt is equal to how much you have loved, that getting hurt is proportionate to having too many expectations.

I must admit you probably won't be too far away from my thoughts, and that thinking of you will still bring that tinge of sadness and regret. But I'm okay. I will be okay. Loving again may take awhile though. For now, I'd concentrate on healing myself, on making myself complete on my own - so that when the right one finally comes, I'll be able to give myself to him as I would have wanted to give myself to you.

A Year Older...

2005-12-14T00:00:00.000+08:00

House, M.D.

2005-12-09T23:02:00.000+08:00

HOUSE, M.D.
After almost a week of sleeping at 2 am, at last... I already finished the first season of Dr. House. My father bought the set (8 cds) in Divisoria and since then, I never stopped watching every night. Though I don't really watch it in TV series, the recommendation of my friends made me curious about it and I was surprised when I found out that my father bought a set. It is sooOooo interesting! And of course, I can somehow relate to the medical terms and all.

It also made me think again...

DO I REALLY WANT TO PUSH THROUGH MEDICINE??? *Sigh*

Sarap sa Bukid!

2005-11-28T23:32:00.000+08:00

Sabi ni ate jane, gawin ko na daw comedy ang blog ko...hehe,, Masyado na ba akong madrama.?! Anyway, I had wonderful weekend! We went again sa bukid sa Lian, Batangas. Ang saya!

Nov. 26, Saturday

Umalis kme ng Las Pinas mga 7:00am. Ako siyempre, tatay, nanay, diego, tricia, simon, Tito Nol, and Ate Vicky. We were with Tita Juaning, tatay and nanay's friend sa parish. Syempre, pagdating around 10am, kain agad...sa dahon ng saging. ;-) Ang sarap kumain lalo na't nakakamay! After washing the dishes, diretso na ako sa aming maliit na kubo...at doon...NATULOG! Haha, after waking up, merienda time ulit. Around 5:00pm, nagtanim kme ng halaman. The ones we bought almost a month ago. Tinanim namin sa harapan ng kubo. Naalala ko si Che (a close friend from UP) nung nagtanim kme sa bahay ng foster family namin sa Nagcarlan Laguna during our 2-month Community Immersion. Siyempre, dahil sa kanya, marunong na ako. Kung matigas ang lupa, maaring basahin ng kaunti upang lumambot. Mas mainam hukayin ang lupa at pagkatapos durugin ito bago itabon sa mga ugat ng halaman. Ang saya! After being messed up, naligo na kami dahil hinabol namin ang 7:30pm mass sa bayan ng Lian. Tito Al and family (also a family friend from the parish) arrived and we headed to St. John the Baptist Parish Church. Sam and Ras were already there inside the Church. (They both have saturday classes kaya sumunod na lang sila.) It's nice to hear mass with the family! Most espicially, it's the first week of advent! After mass, we had a delicious dinner, again, in a banana leaf. And at the end of the night....as usual.... VIDEOKE!!!!

Nov. 27, Sunday

After breakfast, we prepared ourselves for Matabungkay Beach. Kaming anim na magkakapatid, kasama ang buong family ni Tito Al, Tita Juaning and Damboy. We were all excited! Nung nasa dagat na kme, I was suprised to see how clean it was. Di kse ako sanay na malinis ang dagat. Usually, ito ay malumot, madaming seaweeds, hindi malinaw ang tubig at madumi din ang buhangin. Never akong nag-enjoy maligo sa matabungkay dahil nga nadudumihan ako. NGAYON na lamang after sooo many years, I never felt kadiri while swimming! Enjoy pa ang pedal boat.. We rented it for 150 per hour and I think it's worth it. I mean, the fun of being able to go further sa dagat nang sama-sama! 6 persons per pedal boat. Kakangalay nga lang magpedal tska lumakas yung hangin kaya we were stucked in the middle for a while. Sa bukid na kme nagbanlaw at naligo. Syempre, we ate lunch ng madami at medyo masakit na din ang katawan namin kaya natulog na naman sa tanghali. hehehe,, After the siesta, merienda, kwentuhan, kulitan. :) Nagtuhog na kme ng barbeque and then nagihaw-ihaw na! Sarap ulit ng dinner!

Nagpahinga lang ng konti after dinner tapos naglaro na ang mga bata ng taguan at trapped inside te circle. Maya-maya, nagyaya na sila mag patintero at dahil sa kulang sila, pinilit nila akong sumali. haaayyy, ang tagal kong di na ulit naglaro. Feeling ko ang bagal ko na tumakbo. Pero ang saya at ang sarap pa din talaga!!! Nakakapawis pero enjoy!

Maya-maya, mga past 10pm dumating na ang Manuyo Core. Sina ate jane, kuya jeff and kuya Pepu. Nagdinner lang sila at naghugas lang ako ng plato at naglinis, pagkatapos, nagstart na kme ng PLANNING for Manuyo Youth Group. After a long time, ngayon lang ako lit nagkaron ng formal planning. We ended the intro and the presentation of needs of MYG at almost 3:00 am bago kme naghiwa-hiwalay para magpahinga.

Nov. 28, Monday

We woke up past 8 am. Nagtanim sila ulit pero di na ako sumali. Naligo na ako agad at after breakfast, mga 10am, nagumpisa na ulit kme ng planning. Daming plans sa group. I wont go into details na dito. Pero ang ganda ng aming mga napagplanuhan... Nauna umuwi sina tito Al tpos sina Nanay naman ng mga 12:00. Naiwan ako para ituloy ang planning namin. Natapos kme ng mga 4:30pm. Isang napakagandang pagkakataon para sa core ng manuyo. sayng nga lang at di namin natuloy ni Kuya Jeff ang plano dahil wala si Fort at Shiela. Haayy, we left Lian at around 5:30 pm dhil matagal yung bus dumating. We arrived home at 8:20 pm.

At long last, nakauwi na din. Sakit ng katawan ko sa pagod sa mga activities during the weekend. Pero sobraaaaanngggg saya ko! Feeling ko nasulit ang bakasyon namin. Unlike before na nade2press lang ako sa bukid at laging nakasub-sob sa baon kong libro. O ayan...masaya na ang kwento ko ha! Mahaba nga lang. hehehe, Salamat!

Playing Safe

2005-11-25T23:46:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I went to Glorietta and as soon as I arrived, I headed to Goodwill bookstore to once again take a peek on the piano book I've been drooling for. It's worth P1,520 that's why I know I couldn't buy it on my own. I was more overwhelmed to see that it is now 60% off -- meaning it will only cost P608 now. Good thing, I was able to convince my tatay and nanay to just meet me at Goodwill. I showed them at once the piano book entitled - The Big Book of Wedding Music with 77 cherished songs. It has the most heartwarming love songs and wedding instrumentals compared to the rest of the books in the shelf. I was sooOoooo glad that tatay agreed to buy the book for me. He said, "Dapat tumugtog ka ulit ha!". I also bought Ikaw Ang Lahat Sa Akin worth P55 arranged by Digna Roxas.

Once more, I was inspired to PLAY PIANO again. I wondered if our Bamboo Organ organist Amando Salarza will accept me as a student again after almost 6 years of not attending piano lessons. And even though my fingers would usually tremble while playing in front of a crowd, I know that in my heart, I really love to play piano--my nanay made me love it. And deep inside I desire to learn more and to be able to play, with my whole heart and spirit. I would love to create music. I would love to bring peace and joy through playing the piano.

On playing other things.....

O well, I was branded by many people (usually guys) that I am a PLAYING SAFE person. I am very careful, I will always think of what would I have to say, I would as much as possible keep the deepest feelings inside myself, I would make so many alibis, I would go around the bush and I would never go straight to the point. Just a while ago, I was talking to Kuya Kirby over the phone and he made me remember how 'super magulong kausap' I am most especially when talking to guys regarding matters of the heart. I was telling him what happened to me last week and all he said is that it's all my fault. He said that IN MY FACE!!!!

I was trying to rationalize at first, saying that it's not easy to be confronted and to go straight to the point and straight to what I want. But he insisted that I am so 'paligoy-ligoy' and it seems that most of the time, my true message would be hidden in a riddle. It's like a difficult conquest that even the most intelligent person would go insane because of me. It's either yes or no but my answer would be "You have to like this or like that....; It's because...; My situation is this and that..."; and many more!

I admit I was hurt. But then I realized that he was right. And because he was right, I wanted to cry. Cry because I know I hurt someone. Cry because once again, I was misinterpreted. I know, I know...Not all people would want to pursue a person like me. Not all people would have the courage to clarify things and to know what I really mean. Especially when they are hurt. Not all people would be patient enough to understand me each time I would go around and around with what I'm implying. Not all people would want to play with me. To me who wouldn't want to lose. To me who wouldn't want to risk anything. To me who would think over decisions a hundred times or more. To me who is always playing safe.

Sadly, now, I lost my playmates. They have given up. I have no playmates anymore even if I wanted to keep one. Maybe I don't deserve any. Maybe my playmates wouldn't want to play with me the way I play with them. Maybe before my playmates enjoy the game, they are already tired and exhausted. And now, I am playing alone.

No room for parallel, cooperative or competitive play for me. I have to get used to play alone. I am like an infant who engage in solitary play. No hurting of playmates anymore. Playing with me is similar to what Sam said to Austin Ames in The Cinderella Story: "Waiting for you is like waiting for rain to end the drought: disappointing and useless."

I have to learn from my experience. Life is indeed not a simple game to play. We cannot always play safe and we cannot always win. Just like a liitle child who fell and bruised his knees while running--there will be times when we end up being hurt and broken. There are winners and losers but there are lessons learned. And those lessons give worth and meaning to the game so-called LIFE.

Boring Day

2005-11-21T12:28:00.000+08:00

Aside from being bored, I woke up today a bit depressed. I was in front of the computer the whole day--diversion therapy and yet my mood did not change. O well, this is what I do coz I'm still bum. I should have been reviewing for NCLEX. Last week, I had all the motivation to study. However, this day, all that motivation vanished.

It is the fifth day. I don't like to see him. I don't like to talk to him. I don't like to text him. It's no use. I am used to be left behind. I am always the one who is given up. I should not expect anything to anyone. I should have known better. Never trust. Never hope.

Another reminder for myself... I am only a co-coordinator. I have to be cautious with my actions. I have the tendency to overpower people unconsciously. Stop being demanding. Stop being soOoo strong. People often misinterpret my actions. Most people really do...and it's annoying...

Lastly, I should not expect that I will regain THE friendship I had with him before. It's been over a year and yet we haven't learned to be comfortable with each other. Even if I see him almost twice a week, even if I can share jokes and simple thoughts thru text messages...It ends there. He is not making any effort. I should accept it.

Good thing my friend, Ica reminded me that I am MORE PRECIOUS than JEWELS. And that we do not deserve to be taken for granted, to be hurt and to be given up. We should not shed tears to those who are unworthy. Let go, let go...I can do it again. I know.

-----> RN, MAN, PhD or RN, MD.?! Haven't decided yet. Oh my!

To My Tatay

2005-11-18T20:26:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

my DEAREST TATAY!!!!

I Love You Very Much!

Sariling Tinig

2005-11-10T23:21:00.000+08:00

Angela, nagdesisyon ka diba? Ikaw ang pumili niyan. Wala kang karapatang malungkot. Panindigan mo ang iyong desisyon. Pinili mong maging mag-isa. Pinili mong huwag samahan ng iba. Pinili mo yan. Anu man ang kinahinatnan, dapat mong tanggapin ng maluwag sa iyong puso.

Hindi mo kase inaasahan na masasaktan ka kaya ka ganyan. Akala mo kaya mo na ang lahat. Di lang sa iyo umiikot ang mundo. Hindi lahat ay maghihintay sa iyo. Hindi lahat maiintindihan ang nararamdaman mo. May mga taong darating. Mayroon aalis. Mayroon kailangang umalis. At mayroon ka ding pinapaalis kahit hindi mo sinasadya.

Wala kang dapat pagsisihan. Ginawa mo lang ang nararapat at ang sa tingin mong mas patas sa iba. Ayaw mo din makasakit ng tuluyan. Lalo na ngayon. Magulo ka. At habang magulo ka pa, di ka dapat mandamay ng iba. Kayanin mo muna yan mag-isa. Hayaan mo munang tuluyang maghilom ang mga sarili mong sugat. Binibigyan ka niya ng pagkakataon.

At kahit na nalulungkot ka, isipin mo na lang na kailangan iyong gawin---dahil hindi lang ikaw ang mundo. At may mga mundong patuloy na iikot kahit wala ka doon. Masanay ka na.

I'm Back!

2005-11-07T10:45:00.000+08:00

It's been a longggggggg time! It's nice to be here again...

I've been busy but I'm happy coz I got to meet some of my friends, got to relax sa bukid sa batangas, attended Jam's debut last Sat, attended my most awaited first meeting with Manuyo Youth Group and helped helped helped helped clean the house. O well, I was assigned to wash the clothes and to cook. (Nagsugat nga yung mga kamay ko sa paglalaba eh, huhuhu!) And a while ago, I was with Ate Eilleen and Ate Luan sa divisoria, at NASUYOD namin ang 168! ahihihi! Kapagod pero masaya!

"Anak, di ka na naman nagaaral...Malapit na ang buhay mo! Kung anu-ano na naman ang dinadahilan mo, ano ba anak! Mag-aral ka, mag-aral ka! Isipin mo ang mga nakasanlang kalabaw, ang mga papaaralin mong kapatid, ang mga utang mo sa tita mo...Dapat makapasa ka anak, pero pa'no ka makakapasa kung ganyan ka. Balahura ka talaga anak! Mag-aral ka, mag-aral kaaaaa!". Bukam-bibig yan ni Sir Balisnomo sa amin sa review...bwahahaha! I'm sure yan ang gusto niyang sabihin sakin!

I left Dan Brown for a while...Ilang gabi ko na siyang naka2tulugan! Magtatampo na si Da Vinci! (Oo, ngayon ko pa lang binabasa ang Da Vinci Code...oo na, huli na ako! yabang, hmmmp!!!!)

I was strucked with the community meeting last night. Aside from the sensitive topics that we talked about, we also reflected on an very disturbing and challenging gospel reading. It came from Matthew 25: 31-46. The verse that struck me most: "Truly I tell you, just as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me. And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life." Our pastoring group (similar sa small group namin sa Community of the Living Water), ako, Ate Anlyne, Ate Rhyanne, Ate Luan and Ate Eilleen- ang aming pastor, agreed with a conviction statement: A HEART FOR JESUS IS A HEART FOR OTHERS.

Huling Hirit sa Pentagon!

2005-10-31T23:50:00.000+08:00

Ito ang aking Green Dong-a Ballpen, Steadler na Eraser at ang Pink Pentel Mechanical Pencil...Sila ang mga gamit ko sa review pati na din ang test-paper sa pentagon. hehe,, O well, ksama pla ang Pretz Stix na favorite ni pau at jihan!

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ANG AKING MGA KA-KOSA SA PENTAGON!

Haaayyy, namiss ko agad sila! Mga makukulit na ksama at mga bagong kaibigan pero 4 years ko naging kaklase...na ngayon ko lang naging close! Buti na lang! Ang Saya!
WOooooWwww, ang ganda parang nagpa-salon!!!!
May separation anxiety na din ako like pau....huhuhu!!!!

Farewell Pentagon

2005-10-28T22:22:00.000+08:00

Haaaayy...ito na ang huling araw ng review sa Pentagon para sa NCLEX exam...

Nagsimula ang review noong September 19. Mula noon, pumapasok na ako sa College of Holy Spirit Manila (CHSM) araw para umupo mula alas-otso ng umaga (mali. late pala ako lagi...alas nuebe y medya pala.hehe!) hanggang alas-singko ng hapon. Naiintindihan ko na kung bakit nagkakapressure sores ang mga immobilized patients dahil muntik na itong mangyari sa akin. Masakit sa puwit umupo!

Inaamin ko. At alam ng mga kasama ko sa review iyan, ako ang pinakatamad sa amin. Dahil na din siguro wala pa naman akong date ng exam. Late ako lagi pumapasok, madaming absent at natutulog sa klase. Feeling ko bumabalik ako sa pagkabata dahil napaka-SHORT ATTENTION SPAN ko! At walang araw ang lumipas ng hindi ako natutulog. Haaaaayyy...

Noong una, medyo malungkot ako dahil wala man lang akong super ka-close na kasabay magre2view...Hindi ko kabarkada ang mga nakasama ko at hindi ko sila naging mga kagrupo kaya hindi kme as in close. Pero natutuwa ako dahil nakasama ko na at mas nakilala ko na sila ngayon. Sina Kat, Diane, Nerizza, Shanta, Jihan, Pau, Mitz, Krine at Annie. Mamimiss ko sila.Marami akong natutunan at nagawa sa review na iyon.

Una, na mayroong 3 for P100 pirated dvds sa quiapo (arlegui), araw2 ko itong dinadaanan.
Ikalawa, natuto akong maglakad ng buong mendiola dahil madalas sarado ito dahil sa mga rally.
Ikatlo, masarap pala ang Corn Bits Blue, Blu Skies Milk, Oatmeal cookie sa CHSM at Pretzy (mga favorite naming pagkain!)
Ika-apat, natuto akong magLRT mula Doroteo Jose kasabay si Jihan. Nasanay akong mag-dyip mula baclaran dahil ito din ang pinakatipid na ruta pauwi.
Ika-lima, masarap ang hopia sa Baker's Fair, malapit sa Dotoeo Jose station. (Thanks Jihan!)
Ika-anim, maraming devotee si St. Jude lalo na kpag Thursday! At si Diane ang kasama ko lagi doon. :)
Ika-pito, ang Sta.Cruz na dyip ay hindi dumadaan ng Quiapo. (psensya na!)
Ikawalo, bawal ang mga daring na damit sa CHSM. hehe,,
Ikasiyam, nakapagbasa ako ng Eleven Minutes ny Paulo Coelho. Thanks Nerizza!
Ikasampu, kapag inaantok ka, matulog ka!

Dahil sa huling araw na namin kanina, ngkaroon kame ng pagdiriwang. Nagdala si pau ng pasta (tuna in red sauce), ako ng buko salad, jihan ng gelatin from glodilocks and stuffed crust pizza supreme na pinaghati-hatian ng iba pa sa amin. Ang sarraaaapppp!Nagpicture-picture na din kame kanina! Mami2ss ko ang aking mga 'pentagon-mates' a.k.a. mga new found friends ko ngayon. :) Mami2ss ko din si Sir Andamo, Sir Mike at Sir Jerome. Astig talga kayo!
Haaaayyyyyy..... Pentagon Days are over... sa muli nating pagkikita... Paalam...

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I will be studying on my own for the next few months as I wait for the Authorization to Test from the California Board of Registered Nursing. I do hope that I will have the spirit of discipline to study well...

A Period of Low Self-Esteem

2005-10-26T23:29:00.000+08:00

Self-Esteem could be defined as: What our unconscious believes to be true about how worthy, lovable, valuable and capable we are.

Our self-esteem is very dependent on factors within our environment. It is formed as a result of our years of experiences (especially the early ones). It could be said that one's eyes and ears record the messages they receive from others, especially those most important to them. Because one's unconscious accepts all words and emotions as facts no matter how legitimate or based in reality, one's self-esteem is being continuously constructed and reconstructed by what is encountered in the mirror of others verbal and non-verbal messages.

CHARACTERISTICS OF LOW SELF-ESTEEM: ~ Demean his own talents~ Feel that others don't value him~ Feel powerlessBe easily influenced by others ~ Express a narrow range of emotions~ Avoid situations that provoke anxiety ~ Become defensive and easily frustrated ~ Blame others for their own weaknesses

***Low self-esteem has been correlated with low life satisfaction, loneliness, anxiety, resentment, irritability and depression.

I am a person usually appreciated, loved and noticed. I have learned to accept myself as I am and believed that I am a beautiful person in the eyes of God and that is the most important. These uplifting thoughts, most of the time, bring me up and increases my positive self-concept and self-esteem. However, in our day-to-day lives we will always encounter situations, comments and remarks that will bring us down. There are times that these will engulf our whole being to self-frustration and lack of confidence. And these remarks usually come from those important people we love.

I have been bugged by these thoughts for about two weeks now. Not only that, I am disturbed. No matter how hard I try to divert my attention to positive things about myself, I would always end up not contented. I would always feel that I am a person that is so much LESS than the others--most especially physically. I am not like the skinny women who can wear tight-fitting clothes, I cannot expose my legs and wear skirts all I want because I have big big leg muscles, I cannot wear sleeveless blouses, I cannot be just like them--the women that is according to the norms today.

O well, i know how to lift myself up. I also know what to think of. I know that I am a bautiful person inside. Yeah right. I also know that I do not need to compare myself to others beacuse each has her own uniqueness and beauty. I also know that God loves me for who I am. It's just that, I felt this way. This is not dysfuctional yet and I know that these feelings are normal. I just hope that other people will be sensitive enough to others' feelings. It is because, people may take 'negative remarks' as a joke and may not take it personally or against the person, but it has a great effect to one's self-esteem. And now is the time that I feel that way. A period of low self-esteem.

Nursing Diagnosis:
Low Self-Esteem and Negative Self Concept related to negative remarks of family and friends.

Eleven Minutes

2005-10-24T23:01:00.000+08:00

You can't say to the spring : "Come now and last as long as possible"; You can only say: "Come and bless me with your hope, and stay as long as you can."
(Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho)

In this gripping and daring new novel, Paulo Coelho sensitively explores the sacred nature of sex and love and invites us to confront our own prejudices and demons and embrace our own "inner light."

After three days of stealing a minute or two sa review classes, I finished the book ELEVEN MINUTES by Paulo Coelho. It revealed the life of a prostitute, Maria, who have mastered giving pleasure to insecure men. She has given up her happiness and LOVE only to find out that in the end, her 'personal light' will be noticed by someone whom she eventually loved--a love that is not possessive, a love that is free. It showed her numerous struggles to find her happiness amidst her job and her loneliness. At first, I was surprised with its content discussing masturbation, arousal, etc. but at the same time I was fascinated on how Paulo Coelho was able to differentiate sex as an act alone and 'sacred sex' that involves the union of two souls. This is a good book for someone who is interested in understanding sex and its sacredness.

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How is it possible for the beauty that was there only minutes before to vanish quickly? Life moves very fast. It rushes us from heaven to hell in a matter of seconds.

If I must be faithful to someone or something, then I have, first of all, to be faithful to myself.

If I don't think about love, I will be nothing.

Freedom only exist when love is present. And the person who loves wholeheartedly feels free. That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it.

The strongest love is the love that can demonstrate its fragility. If my love is real, freedom will conquer jealousy and any pain it causes me, since pain is a natural process.

Pour Out

2005-10-14T12:29:00.000+08:00

Where are my tears?
I want them to come out but they are missing
It seems that they have hidden themselves well
To keep the feelings inside,
To sustain the sentiments within.

My heart wanted to burst with emotions.
Longing, missing, worrying.
Bored, confused, anxious.
Numb.

Why should I end up this way?
Has my lacrimal glands stopped producing tears?
Has my heart grew tired of crying?
It has been a long time since then.

Maybe my tears have learned to pour out ONLY inside.
And now, no matter how hard I try,
They remain to be kept.
Concealed.
Suppresed.
Hidden.

Where are my tears?
Is this a sign of strength?
Or an indication of weakness?
Whatever it is, I wanted to release you.
Follow me now...
Please pour out...

Where are my tears?

Isang Luwad

2005-10-13T02:39:00.000+08:00

Sa tagal ng byahe mula sa las pinas hanggang mendiola, di maiwasan ni angelang mag-isip isip ng madaming bagay. Sa buhay, sa bahay, sa parish, sa nclex, sa pgh, sa pagme2d at sa lablyp (meron ba.?) Siguro kaya niyang tumulala lang buong maghapon sa pag-iisip. Kung kaya lamang ng isipang maging totoo ang kanyang mga mithiin, kung kaya lamang nitong pumunta sa mundo kung saan niya ninanais at kung kaya lamang niyang kontrolin ang mga sitwasyon at pananaw ng ibang tao sa kanyang buhay at kung kaya lang niyang hawakan ang oras at pigilin o ibalik o i-fast forward ito sa hinaharap ay magiging masaya at kuntento siya. "Haaaay.!", yun na lamang ang nasabi niya.

Ngunit may mas nakatatas at makapangyarihan kesa sa kanya na siyang may kayang gumawa ng lahat ng iyon. Ito ay dahil ang nakatataas na iyon ang nakakaalam kung ano ang tama sa mali, kung ano ang nararapat sa tamang panahon at kung ano ang mas nakabubuti sa nakararami. Tulad ng isang magpapalayok na naghuhugis ng isang luwad.

Si Angela ay isang luwad. Hinahawakan, binabasa, hinuhugisan at pinatitibay....ng magpapalayok na siyang nakatataas.

Si Angela ay Nanaginip

2005-10-10T23:14:00.000+08:00

So many people walk around with a meaning less life. They seem half asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose ang meaning."*by Mitch Albom from Tuesdays with Morrie*

Si Angela ay nanaginip nung isang linggo. Natanggap na daw niya ang Authorization to Test para sa NCLEX. (Ang NCLEX ay ang licensure exam sa states-california). Gayunpaman, tinatamad pa din siya pumasok a review.Napakapasaway ko talaga. umabsent na naman ako sa klase ko sa review kahapon. Paano ba naman, overwhelming na ang infos...maghapong nakaupo, nakikinig, natutulog, kumakain...Magkaka-pressure ulcer nko-sacral area kung di ako lalabas para magCR at tumakas para maglakad-lakad. Madami naman akong natututunan pero ayoko lang tlga yung maghapong nakaupo. Lagi nga akong late...pasaway nga kse...Siguro tlgang kulang pa langako sa motivation at sa pressure na dapat na tlga akong mag-review.!!! Tsk tsk tsk...

Pero masaya ko kse nakasama ko ang antiochers kahapon. Natutuwa ako kse nakikita ko yung willingness nila sa antioch at maging part ng luke 18 weekend experience. Naaalala ko din na dati, ganoon din ako katulad nila. Umaatend ng meetings, nagfafacilitate. Ako din ang dina-dryrun para sa talk ko at isa din ako sa nagpaparticipate sa activities at games. Ngayon...malaki nko, ako na ang naghahndle ng meetings at ako na din ang nagda-dryrun. Naalala ko lalo sina Kuya Jojit, Ate Lanie, Ate She, Ate Julie at Ate Gel...ilan lang sa mga naging COORDINATOR ko nung member pa ako. Kung wala sila and the rest of the whole community, I will not be molded as a leader na ganito ngayon...Bakit ko ba ito nabanggit? Dahil kse, may bagong yugto na naman ako sa aking journey sa service... bagong mga taong makakasalimuha, bagong mga batang aalagaan, bagong Core team na kalakbay at minsan aawayin (hehe), at bagong sistema ng pakikisama. Lahat bago. Mamimiss ko ang Antioch...

Si Angela ay nanaginip kagabi. Maaaring siya ay anxious para sa maraming pagbabagong ito. Ngunit siya ay masaya dahil mayroong nakalaang hamon sa kanya ang Diyos. At ito ay haharapin niya ng buong pagtitiwala. Nais din niyang maranasan ang paglilingkod sa baryo na isang matinding pagbabago para sa kanya. Alam niyang kaya niya--sapagkat siya at maraming kalakbay at kasama. Sabi nga sa word of life niya, "Gayon din naman, dapat ninyong paliwanagin ang inyong ilaw sa harapan ng mga tao..." Mateo 5:16

Who Am I Inside?

2005-10-08T18:02:00.000+08:00

*Got this from Andro. This is soo00oo TRUE!!! Try it.!*
You are a fulfilled person. Don't get me wrong,you still have a lot of things to look forward too. But you just know that you have the wisdomyou need in this life, and you are right about that.

Some things have scared you for life, butyou cherish those scars, since they made you wiser.

You live life to the fullest, and like to drag others along with that. People like you come in all sizes and shapes, but I think most are quite outgoing, but also have their timefor serenity and calmness.

Because you are two-sided, you have a lot of things you love. But the most important things are the people you love, and of course yourself.
You are most likely to put others above you, but if you have to defend your rights, you're most happy too.

Your friends are most likely to be quite serious, or at least, they can take you seriously. You are quite the advice-giver,even though people don't always recognize that. Just as long as you know you deserve your part of compliments!
Motto: Life is a miracle, not a problem.

Who are you inside?
(detailed and yes, with pics!)

Weirdest things I'd like to do!

2005-10-04T09:38:00.000+08:00

Mangagat ng tao. yung madiin na madiin! As in sobrang diin!!! hanggang sa bumaon ang ipin ko sa balat niya....kaso di ko pa nagagawa yon eh!
Magbasag ng mga bagay-bagay! huh.? (me suppressed anger ata ako eh!)
Maglakad sa tulay ng Quiapo lalo na kpag maganda ang panahon o kaya kpag gabi. Kaso lang pinigilan ako ng mga kaibigan ko kse mananakawan daw ako!
Magstay sa may post office at tingnan ang fountain doon...
Umupo sa may harap ng fountain ng malate...PERO...kailangan hintayin kong pumutok yung fountaon tpos mababasa ako ng konti.!! Nagawa ko na ito, Saaarrraaappppp.!!!!
Madaming-madaming bubbles.!! Gusto ko nga din makapasok sa loob ng bubbles eh!
TRAIN RIDE! yung galing sa Bulacan...yung sa may south super highway na train..walang aircon at mabagal at dumadaan sa riles na me madaming bahay...Gusto ko yon maranasan.!
Tingnan ang SUNSET.....
Maglaro at mabasa ng ULAN!!!! Saaarrap ulit.!
Mag-swimming sa batis at may waterfalls! Yung malamig ang tubig at malinis at umaagos!
Umakyat sa PUNO...
Makasakay sa eroplano, yung katulad sa The Little Prince...
Yung pde kong mhawakan ang mga ulap at mahalikan ang mga ito...
Maglakad sa tubig tulad sa EVER AFTER!
MAKALIPAD....Pero di sa Manila ha, mausok doon eh....
Lumutang sa outer space!!!!
Makapaglaro sa SNOW. Hindi naman kse namin nalaro yung snow sa SanFo nung nagpunta kme doon eh...Tumigas na kse at halos di ako makagalaw sa sobrang lamig...
Isang mahigpit na HUUUGGGGGG!!!!!!! Hmmmmmm..............
Hmmmm, ano pa ba.? Idadagdag ko na lang sa susunod...hehehe

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nakain ko at bigla kong naisip alalahanin ang mga ito. Pero ang sarap isipin na maggagawa ko sila ulit at yung iba first time.!Ikaw.? anong weird na mga bagay ang gusto mo.?!........Isama natin dito! I'm sure yung iba dito gusto mo din.!!!! :-)

Namamanhid Ako

2005-09-30T00:55:00.000+08:00

Namamanhid ang buong katawan ko…

Noong una, hindi ko ito namamalayan at iniinda ngunit ngayon, napagtanto ko na lamang na isang taon ko na palang nararanasan ito. Parang kailan lang, ang bilis pala talaga ng panahon.

Dati, alam kong mabuti ang aking pangangatawan. Walang sakit, walang kirot at walang umaagos na luha. Apat na buwan bago ko naranasan ang pamamanhid na ito, nakaramdam ako bigla ng hirap sa paghinga. Yung para bang kulang na kulang ang hangin na pumapasok sa aking baga. Nanginginig ang aking kalamnan habang hinahabol ang hangin sa kapaligiran. Bukod pa dito, nawalan din ako ng ganang kumain. Sapat na ang dalawang piraso ng pandesal sa maghapon. Kapag nakakakita ako ng pagkain, nasusuka ako. Hindi rin ako agad makatulog tapos sobrang aga ko pang nagigising. Ang bigat din sa pakiramdam, parang mayroon akong pasan-pasan sa balikat at pawang may batong nakadagan sa aking puso—pinipisil at iniipit. Kasabay nito, ang aking mga mata ay namula, at tila may mga luhang umaagos…agos nang agos…di ko ito napigilan.

Akala ko ay ikamamatay ko iyong karamdamang iyon. Ngunit hindi.

Mayroon akong kakilalang tanging manggagamot na maaaring lumunas sa aking nararamdaman. Siya lamang ang mayroong panlunas na iyon. Ito ay hindi nabibili, ito ay binibigay niya lamang…at ito ay dapat sa akin. Buti na lang, may kaunti pang natirang panlunas sa kanya kaya naman binigyan niya ako. Nawala ang mga sintomas na naranasan ko dahil sa panlunas na iyon. Kahit na alam kong hindi naman nawala ang karamdaman ko, umasa akong hindi ako pababayaan ng manggagamot ko. Ngunit hindi ito nagtagal.

Matapos ang tatlong buwan, tumigil na siya sa pagbibigay ng panlunas. Hindi na daw niya kaya. Kailangan daw niya ang mga panlunas na iyon upang gamutin ang sarili niyang karamdaman. Hindi na daw ito sapat pa para sa aming dalawa. Wala akong nagawa. Nagpaalam siya sa akin at hindi ko na siya nakita mula noon.

At dahil sa nawalan na ako ng panlunas, bumalik ulit ang lahat ng sintomas na naranasan ko. Tiniis ko na lamang ito. Alam kong walang ibang makalulunas dito. Kinaya ko.

Naibsan ang iba kong nararamdaman dahil na rin sa tulong ng iba ko pang kaibigan. Pinagaan nila ang aking kalooban at pinawawala nila ang kirot na aking naramdaman. Ngunit marami pa ring pagkakataon na inaatake ako. At wala akong nagagawa kung ang hayaan na lamang. Magtiis, itulog at umasang bukas, mawawala din ang aking nararamdaman.

At ganun nga, di naglaon, nawala ang lahat ng sintomas na aking nararansan. Hindi dahil sa gumaling ako kundi dahil nasanay na ang katawan ko sa ganoong nararamdaman. Wala nang kirot, wala na ding umaagos na luha dahil sa sakit. Alam ko na hindi pa ako magaling pero masaya na din ako dahil namanhid na ang katawan ko sa mga iyon. Komplikasyon man ito ng aking sakit, ok lang din sa akin. Hindi ko na inaasahang gagaling pa ako.

Mayroong manggagamot na may dalang panlunas sa aking karamdaman. Ngunit kapag nagpagamot ako sa kanya, alam kong baka mahawa siya. Baka maranasan din niya ang kirot dahil sa akin. Ayoko na muna. Hindi pa ako handa. Ayoko muna magpagamot. Hindi dahil sa takot ako at hindi din dahil umaasa pa ako sa una kong manggagamot. Kailangan ko munang magpahinga. Para maka-ipon muli ng lakas. Para matuto ulit lumaban.

Alam kong dahil sa makabagong agham ngayon, talagang mayroon nang ibang pwedeng magbigay lunas sa aking karamdaman. At kahit na namamanhid pa din ang katawan ko ngayon, alam ko na darating ang panahon na magiging handa na muli akong magpagamot. Ayokong pilitin ang sarili ko ngayon at walang ibang taong pwedeng magdikta sa akin dahil ako ang nakakaramdam nito. Madali lang siguro ang solusyon para sa iba ngunit hindi nila pwedeng husgahan ang desisyon ko. Ito ako. Namanhid ng karanasan, namanhid ng panahon. Ako ito. At ito din ang alam kong tamang gawin sa ngayon dahil may iba pang mas mahalagang bagay na dapat pagtuonan ng pansin kaysa sa karamdamang ito. Mabuti nang wala akong nararamdaman. Hindi man ako naiintindihan ng marami sa ginawa ko, ito ay dahil hindi pa nila nararanasang maging manhid tulad ko.

Iskolar ng Bayan

2005-09-25T21:45:00.000+08:00

I got this from Ate Jane...Wala lang, I found this cute kaya sinagutan ko na din. Ika nga nga niya..."please skip this entry if you find this boring and cannot relate with :p". Thanks.!

.:. ANONG STUDENT NUMBER MO? 01 - 09895

.:. NAKAPASA KA BA OR WAITLISTED? I was a reconsidered student and did not originally pass to the course of my choice.

.:. PAANO MO NALAMAN ANG ENTRANCE EXAM RESULT? I received a letter saying that I failed.

.:. FIRST CHOICE MO BA ANG UP?Yup. Bata pa lang ako gusto ko na mag-aral sa UP-Manila. I told myself that I'll strive hard. Umiyak nga ako nung nalaman ko na di ako nakapasa eh... :'(

.:. ALAM MO BA ANG UPG SCORE MO? I knew mine because it's always written in the letter of those who did not pass. A friend just told me that my grade is good enough to ask for reconsideration and it will be up to the registrar where will they put me. (depende ata sa avilable slots ng mga courses)

.:. ANO ANG FIRST CHOICE MO NA COURSE? BS Biology. Gusto ko kse tlga mag-med noon. Eto lang kse ang advised na pang pre-med. Well, di ko alam na yung about sa ibang courses most especially yung Public Health.

.:. SECOND CHOICE? BS Pharmacy. for pre-med again...Well, I think pre-med courses must be cleared and explained well for those who want to take up MED.Madami naman plang options eh...well, wala pa akong muwang noon...

.:. ANO NAGING COURSE MO? BS Nursing. Well, si Dean Tungpalan ang naglagay sa akin doon. At sa lahat sa aking HS classmates na nagpareconsider, ako yung napunta sa Nursing. Sabi kse nung sila yung nagfill-up ng form, full na daw yung slots. Yung nanay ko, di siya nagtanong about sa availability ng slots so basta na lang niya sinulat Nursing. Thanks Dean Tungpalan, you are an angel to me(siya pa ang registrar noon).!!!

.:. NAGPLANO KA BANG MAG-SHIFT? Hmm...NEVER. I know din na I like na nursing. And, we are the last batch na uso pa and allowed ang reconsiderations and transferries and shiftees, because the next year...Nag-boom na maigi yung course and sobrang lakas na ng competetion. Bait tlga ni GOD skin at nakasama pa ako doon.!!!
FYI lang po: Out of 17k now na naglagay ng first choice nila ay nursing, 70 lang ang inaadmit ng College of Nursing. So, TOP 70 sila and mga HALIMAW na tlga.!!!!

.:. NAKAPAG-DORM KA NA BA? Yeah, nung nagtoxic-toxican ako. 2nd year 2nd SEM and 3rd year 1st SEM. Sa Pope Pius, UN. Umalis ako kse I missed home...

.:. NAKA UNO KA NA BA? Oh yes. PE2 KARATE.!!!! Ano, laban ka.?

.:. NAGKA-3? Yup. madami... windang ako nung first two years ko eh...

.:. HIGHEST GRADE: Uno! pero sa PE lang nga yun...ni hindi man lang ksama sa pag-kompyut ng GWA. 1.25 sa ibang major and minor subj...

.:. LOWEST: Kwatro! I took up again Biochem buti na lang Coreq siya pde.... NagkaINC din ako sa PE Taebo. Kse naman me conflict noon sa major subj namin yung sked.

.:. WORST EXPERIENCE SA UP:
Our prof in STS threatened us, the whole class, that we will not graduate because she won't release our grades...we were told to be disrespectful and so on...umabot pa sa dept of sciences...dean ng college, etc. As in hinintay namin siya the whole day and nakasagutan pa niya yung iba kong classmates. Buti na lang at nakalma siya later on...

Isa pa pla sa duty ko non sa PGH, I was soooo tired tpos napagalitan pa ako ng prof ko tpos NPO pko post 12am (meaning wala akong kinakain mula madaling araw kahit inom man lang ng tubig) tpos 5pm nko nakaalis sa ward gutom na gutom pa din ako at pagod at depressed kse nga bka ibagsak ako bigla ng prof ko, wala pa yung partner ko so mag-isa lang ako, puyat din, wala ako makausap.!!! sobrang lowest moment ko yun during my duty days nung fourth year. Umiiyak kaya ako sa bus on the way home alone, I felt so alone, habang kinakain ang tinapay at milk na binili ko pampalipas ng gutom. :(

.:. LAGI KA BANG PUMAPASOK SA KLASE? Oh yes. takot naman ako umabsent kahit papano...

.:. ANO’NG ORG MO? Nursing Artists' Corps lang po...di nko nagmaganda sa mga org dahil busy din sa parish activities.!

.:. MAY SCHOLARSHIP KA BA?None.

.:. PINANGARAP MO BANG MAG-CUM LAUDE? Yes, syempre! kso inisip ko na di naman ako toxic at di ko kaya...
.:. KELAN KA NAGTAPOS? 2005...luckily regular naman gumraduate! yes!

.:. FAVE PROF (s): Prof. Mejico syempre!!! tsaka Mam Balabagno.!

.:. WORST TEACHER (s): ndi ko na maisip. bait ako eh!!!

.:. FAVE SUBJECT (s): Math 11 kse dun alng ako mataas... Psych as in dami ko natutunan k mam mejico! tsaka yung Community Immersion sa Laguna, with Mam Mejico ulit.! Saya din kse ng experience ng 2-month stay sa Laguna to organize the community kahit magastos at super TOXIC!!. We were very loved by the people there. Hehehe....

.:. WORST SUBJECT (s):BIOCHEM...

.:. FAVE LANDMARK: Batcave

.:. BUILDING: Sotejo Hall syempre

.:. PABORITONG KAINAN: Ate Nancy's and Gary's.

.:. NOONG ESTUDYANTE KA PA MAGKANO BA ANG BINABAYAD MO SA JEEP? P5.00

.:. LAGI KA BA SA LIB? Yup, nakikichika, nagre2view and natutulog.!!

.:. NAGPUNTA KA BA SA CLINIC NUNG MINSANG NAGKASAKIT KA? Nope...

.:. MAY CRUSH KA BA SA CAMPUS? huh? Isang Intern...sa OPD noon. tska yung lagi kong nakikita sa CAS na guy na matangkad na naging PE1 classmate namin. I never knew his name pero sinundan ko siya several times.! at nagkangitian din kme.! Matangkad siya, malinis tingnan at mukhang mabango palagi.. Meron din siyang salamin, at mukhang matinong tao.(kilig.!!!)

.:. BF/GF? None.Oh well....

.:. MAY BALAK KA BA MAG-MASTERS O MAG-PHD? Definitely.!!!!

.:. ANU-ANO ANG MGA NAGING PE MO? Foundations for Physical Fitness. Basketball. Karate. Taebo.

.:. KAMUSTA NAMAN ANG BLOCK NYO? Super SAYA>!!! Solid kme until the end, i mean, yung bonding namin, sobrang tight.!!!!

.:. NAKAPANOOD KA NA BA NG GRADUATION SA UP? Graduation ko lang. hehe

.:. MEMORIZE MO BA ANG ALMA MATER SONG? Yup yup.!!! UP NAMING MAHAL....Pamantasang Hirang.!!!
...pati nga yung CHEER eh, Unibersidad ng Pilipinas, Matatapang, Matatalino...and so on...haha!

.:. MEMBER KA BA NG UP VARSITY TEAM?huh.?

.:. NAKA-PERFECT KA NA BA NG EXAM? Yup, yung mga madadali lang.hehe

.:. ANO’NG AYAW MO SA FINALS WEEK? Nape-pressure ako sa mga kaklase ko kse parang ang dami nila naaral at ako wala tska sinasabi nila na di sila nagaral tpos malalaman ko, highest sila. Hmmmp.!!!!

.:. DITO KA BA NATUTONG UMINOM NG BEER? Di naman...

.:. ANO’NG GUSTO MO SA UP? You will learn to be assertive and independent. Di masyado konyo mga tao. Yung mga prof taught us to be responsible with own actions. You will be accepted kahit na anong estado mo sa buhay... No uniform...pwera kpag duty. Tska syempre, yung masarap pakinggan at ever proud to say lagi na "taga-UP ako.!"

.:. ANO’NG AYAW MO? Yung mga sobrang yabang na tao na feeling nila, sila na ang pinakamagaling at sila lang ang magaling dahil taga-UP sila. Well, you can be proud but you need not to be boastful. Duh....

.:. MAGANDA BA ID PIC MO? Yeah, ako yun eh! hehehe. Kaso, nagkaportion na namuti kse nilagyan ko ng acetone nung tnatry ko alisin yung ballpen ink...syempre natunaw mukha ko. Kainis.!

.:. MAY GINAWA KA NA BANG ILLEGAL SA LOOB NG CAMPUS? wala po. GOOD GIRL ako.!!!!!

Kung ikaw ay naging Iskolar ng Bayan, malaya kang sagutin ang mga katanungang ito. Thanks.! It's nice to reminisce UP days.! Hello sa mga batchmates ko.!!!! UPCN 2005 ROCKS!!!

Parable of the Pencil

2005-09-24T11:07:00.000+08:00

I facilitated a retreat last time and I was indeed touched with the message of the retreat...a very inspiring and moving experience. It was based on the parable--shortest parable in fact--THE PARABLE OF THE PENCIL. The sessions are as follows:

1. There is something good in you... We are truly blessed by GOD with so much goodness and blessings and He created us for a purpose...

2. We need to be sharpened in order to live... We need to be sharpened so that the good in us will come out. In our lives, we also experience 'sharpening moments' and those experiences make us a better person.

3. Remember... Memories and our past experiences are there to inspire us and to motivate us to go on...an assurance that if GOD remained faithful to us during those times, how much more NOW.?

4. Somebody is holding you... We must let GOD guide us in all our actions. He is the one who made us so we must entrust everything to HIM.

5. Sometimes, when they let us fall... We experienced hurts, pains, heartbreaks...Sometimes the people who held us, let us fall on the ground. With broken relationships and broken trust. However, this is another challenge..a sharpening moment!. We need to learn how to re-build, to heal and to trust again.

6. In case of mistakes, we are provided with an eraser. God, our ever forgiving father is willing to accept us at all times. We can always come home to HIS embrace despite of...

7. We have to leave a mark. As pencils, we have to leave a mark. A mark that will be remembered by the people whose lives we have touched. We would want to leave a good and lasting mark, isn't it.?

.......I also want to share with you the exact parable.

Parable of the Pencil The Pencil Maker took the pencil aside, just before putting him into the box."There are 5 things you need to know," he told the pencil, "Before I send you out into the world. Always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best pencil you can be."

"One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in Someone's hand."

"Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but you'll need it to become a better pencil."

"Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make."

"Four: The most important part of you will always be what's inside."

"Five: On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark. No matter what the condition, you must continue to write."The pencil understood and promised to remember, and went into the box with purpose in its heart.Now replacing the place of the pencil with you. Always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best person you can be.

One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in God's hand. And allow other human beings to access you for the many gifts you possess.

Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, by going through various problems, but you'll need it to become a stronger person.

Three:You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.

Four: The most important part of you will always be what's on the inside.Five: On every surface you walk through, you must leave your mark. No matter what the situation, you must continue to do your duties.By understanding and remembering, let us proceed with our life on this earth having a meaningful purpose in our heart.Author Unknown

The Bible says that God is the potter and we are the clay. He is the master and we are the servants. With God's leading and the still small voice of the Holy Spirit guiding our steps, we can do great things with our life. Allow this parable on the pencil to encourage you to know that you are a special person and only you can fulfill the purpose to which you were born to accomplish. Never allow yourself to get discouraged and think that your life is insignificant and cannot make a change. (Isaiah 64:8)

God has put breath in your physical body for a reason and so I hope you will seek Him in prayer to find out your purpose and what plans God has for your life. Only when we seek Him can we find out the plan of the Lord for our life. I encourage you to be submitted to the Lord just as a pencil is submitted in the writer's hand. (Proverbs 3:5-6) (Jeremiah 29:11-14)

Allow the Lord to write through your life things that will never be erased. Each pencil has the potential to write the greatest of stories, but it first must be held in the writers hand and so it is with us. We have the potential to do so many great things if only we submit to the Master's Hand and let God have His way. (Jeremiah 33:3) (Philippians 4:13)

*This is from http://www.gnic4u.com/inspirations/pencil.shtml.*

Napukaw na Damdamin

2005-08-30T01:05:00.000+08:00

Bata pa lang ako, gusto ko nang maging doktor. Siguro tlgang kusang sagot na iyon ng mga walang muwang na mga bata kapag tinatanong sila ng mga matatanda kung ano ang gusto nila paglaki nila. Isa pa, lumaki ako sa isang hospital environment. Clinic Nurse kse ang nanay ko kaya natutuwa ako sa mga doktor na nakikita ko sa clinic nila. Ewan ko lang kung bakit di ako natuwa sa environment ng tatay ko-sa Meralco. hehe,, Pero maliit pa lang ako alam ko na health science related ang kukunin kong course. Naaalala ko pa ang sinulat ko sa HS yearbook namin sa parteng Dreams/Ambitions: I want to be a successful doctor someday. Pangarap na namin yan noon pa man ng mga kaibigan ko sa SJA--kami nila kris, avie at lorraine--isasama ko na si jobart. :)

Pero natanggap ako sa UP Manila at hindi sa course na BS Biology at BS Pharmacy (BS Bio lang ang alam ko na pre-med noon. hehe) Napunta ako sa Nursing. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako doon nilagay ni Dean Tungpalan nung nagpa-reconsider ako. Pero masaya ako at doon niya ako nilagay. Sa buhay nursing ko, nakita ko ang service na talaga naman naibibigay ng mga nurse na siyang nakababad kasama ng mga pasyente. Nakita ko ang WORTH ng isang nurse at naisip ko na OK na skin ang hindi maging isang doktor. Sabi ko pa nga, pde naman ako magMA at mag PhD sa Nursing eh... Hanggang sa board exam, hanggang sa oath taking unti-unti nang nabubura ang kagustuhan kong maging doktor. Para kseng gusto ko nang makatulong dito sa aming pamilya. Nakaayos na ang plano kong magNCLEX, magtrabaho sa PGH at umalis ng bansa after 3 years. Kahit na alam kong ang fulfillment ng pagiging nurse ko ay dito sa Pilipinas ko lang makikita, naiisip ko na dapat na akong tumulong sa pamilya.

Nasasaktan nga ako kapag sinasabi nila na bakit ako magpapaka martyr magtrabaho pa dito samantalang me visa na ako at pde na akong umalis as in ngayon na. Nahihirapan ako i-explain na gusto ko dito at gusto ko makapaglingkod sa mga taong bayan na nagpaaral sa akin. Mahirap ba yon intindihin.?! At alam kong nakakatawa ang ganong pag-iisip dahil halos lahat naman, gusto nang makaalis agad. Pero ganon pa din, balak ko pa din umalis dahil kailangan ng pamilya dahil pangarap ko pang mabigyan ng baon ang tatlo kong batang kapatid at di ko sila pde pabayaan...Kailangan ko din kseng tanggapin na talagang underpaid ang mga nars dito at sa akin pa lang, kulang na ang magiging sweldo ko...

Hindi nagbabago ang isip ko--kahit nsa med na sina avie, jobart at lorraine at niyayaya nila ako, kahit na kinukumbinsi ako ng tito ko na maging doktor ako, kahit na natutuwa ako sa pinagaaralan at natututunan ng mga kaibigan kong nagmeMED na ngayon at kahit na alam ko na gusto din yon ng mga magulang ko para sa akin. Pinaninindigan ko talaga na NURSE nko. ;-)

Hanggang sa noong thursday, August 25, 2005. Nakausap ko si Dr. Willie Ong, isang cardiologist na nagki-clinic sa madocs kina nanay. (Siya ang isa sa author ng medicine blue book na nakikita kong ginagamit ngayon ng mga med student.) Tinanong niya ako, "Hindi ka na ba talaga mag-me2d.?" Sabi ko, hindi na, dahil sa maraming rason...sa kapatid ko na nagpi2loto (ayoko na makipagsabayan sa gastos), dahil sa gusto ko na makatulong sa pamilya, dahil sa tamad naman talaga ako mag-aral, atbp. Pero sa daloy ng pag-uusap namin, doon ko napatunayan sa sarili ko na hindi pa din talaga nawawala ang kagustuhan kong mag-doktor. Dahil bawat tao na kumausap sa akin tungkol dito, may kakaiba akong nararamdaman na pawang nagpapagulo sa akin. Maraming sinabi sa akin si Dr. Ong, mga magagandang dahilan kung bakit dapat ituloy ko ang MED. Iba siguro talaga kung makakarinig ka galing sa isang doktor na. Kung paano niya ako inencourage na kakayanin ko yon. Sari-sari na ang tumakbo sa isip ko, naisip ko na ang kapal ata ng mukha ko magMED samantalang ang tamad ko, ayaw kong mag-memorize at ayaw ko ng mga gamot. Di din ako magaling sa klase at sobrang average student lang ako...Madami akong pdeng dahilan kung bakit dapat kong i-reconsider ang pagme2d at madami din akong pdeng idahilan kung bakit hindi na.

Simula nang araw na iyon, di na ako natahimik. Pinadala din sa akin ng isang kaibigan ang isang artik ni roni-bats na nasa upmed ("Gusto kong maging doktor dahil...") At nakita ko na totoo nga. Sabi nga niya, hindi ito dahil sa kikitain ko kapag doktor nko, di lang ito dahil sa mga magulang ko, di ito dahil sa mga matututunan ko at di lang ito dahil sa binulungan ako ng Diyos. Ito ay dahil sa gusto ko. Sa kabila ng mga dahilan maguugat pa din yon sa kagustuhan kong maging doktor. Ika nga ni roni-bats, "Kailangan pa ba ng dahilan.?"

Saan man ako dadalhin ng napukaw na damdaming ito, alam ko na ngayon kung ano ang gagawin ko. Hindi naman ako lalapitan ng MED. Mayroon akong dapat gawin. Ang tingnan ang aking sarili kung gusto ko talaga. At kung alam ko na kung gusto ko, susubukan ko at kakayanin ko. Tulad ng nursing na gunusto ko din at kinaya ko. Hindi madali magdesisyon pero gusto ko makita kung ano ba tlga ang gusto ng mga magulang ko para sa akin, kung ano ba talaga ang gusto ko at higit sa lahat kung ano ba ang gusto ng DIYOS para sa akin.

God knows the desires of our hearts. Ayon nga kay Paulo Coelho, "If something is meant for you, the whole universe conspires to help you achieve it." Sana makita ko na...At kung ano man ang hakbang na aking gagawin, malalaman ko naman kung para sa akin talaga ang MED. At alam ko din naman na bilang nurse man o doktor, kaya kong maging masaya para sa plano ng Diyos para sa akin. *wink*

Daddy Long Legs

2005-08-23T22:20:00.000+08:00

My college friend Ica lend me the DVD Daddy Long Legs. A korean movie. Thanks Ica!!! The twist in the end is soOOOoooo nice! I cried a lot....huhuhuhu!!!! Well, di ako magkukwento para masurprise din kayo kapag napanood niyo. Basta I liked it a lot just like My Sassy Girl. Well, depende pala sa inyo. Medyo kakalungkot nga lang talaga kaya tuloy naginarte ako after (for the Nth time). hehe...

Well, obvious bang bum na bum ako at tlgang kung anu2 na napapanood ko.? Balak ko na nga magpamember sa video city later ehhh...harhar!!!! I cried last night that's why I feel good --definitely better today!

"Wherever you are, whatever you do, the wind blows to him...that's DESTINY."
-Young-mi of Daddy Long Legs (talaga lang ha.?hehe)

When God Writes Your Love Story

2005-08-18T10:55:00.000+08:00

WHEN GOD WRITES YOUR LOVE STORY
by Eric and Leslie Ludy

I just finished the book yesterday. It opened my mind and my heart to the invitation of God for us entrust our lives to HIM, particularly that area of our life (Love life). I know it sounds crazy or senseless to many but after reading the book, I realized that there are more important things in life that I should focus on or prioritize before I would really be ready for a relationship to anyone. Aside from that, it is really true that we should find contentment from HIM alone. Some of the striking messages from the book are as follows:

Only when He is truly in the first place are we ready for a God-written love story.
Purity is a sweeter song.

"And learn to trust my perfect timing so that you may discover that all the pain found in waiting has a significant and awesome purpose."

Just as we are preparing ourselves through His help, He is also preparing someone for us and that person is worth all the tears that we've cried.

Most people never realize that loneliness is a gift from God. He is using the loneliness to teach us complete dependence on Him.

God is the ultimate model of pain-filled patience and purposeful waiting.

Singleness is a time to seek Him with an undivided, undistracted heart.

Our family is our practice field. They are our 'team mates' God has provided us. How we treat them will also be the way we will treat the ONE God sent to us.

If we deliberately choose to obey God, then He will tax the remotest star and the last grain of sand to assist us with all His almighty power.

Hmmm, minsan feeling ko, coping mechanism ba ito ng lahat ng single at available ngayon para i-rationalize yung pagiging single nila.? (tulad ko! hehe) But i came to realize that everything that is written here is true. At least for those who firmly believe in God as the author of their lives. For the singles out there, it is the time to make the most out of our time to prepare ourselves through God's help. Maybe God is telling to our hearts, "Not yet, my dear." And we shouldn't be sad or depressed about this. We can accept it with an open heart and exhaust all our efforts to more important things like our families, studies, career or service. I am not saying that it is easy, there will be LOW MOMENTS indeed but our faith in him will bring joy to our burdened heart. And for those who are in a relationship, it is good to assess if it is a God-written love story. Let us seek guidance from Him and from the 'team mates' God has provided us to make that relationship God-centered. How will we know that it is God-written? According to the book, when the fruits of that relationship helps us grow and mature as a person of faith, purity and love and if it draws us closer to Him. The book also helped me to strengthen my faith not only in that area of my life but to other areas as well. These are some of the quotations and insights that I had from the book. I hope you'll be inspired too. Thanks! >Å<

"God is longing to write your love story -- a love story far beyond the most incredible fairy tale ever written."

A Nurses' Prayer

2005-08-16T10:41:00.000+08:00

Yesterday , we had our oathtaking ceremony as Professional Nurses. It was held in the Araneta Coliseum. It's a simple gathering of new nurses, I can say..and it's a humbling experience to be welcomed as a professional nurse. All the speakers inspired us to be a nurse with a caring and compassionate heart, committed to service and to the well being of the patients, striving for excellence in all our actions, matured in our decisions, and willing to grow in the profession and develop our potentials. I am still holding on to myself that God indeed wanted be to become a nurse. He remained faithful to me since I was a student in UP Manila up to the Nurse Licensure Exam. And I know, He will also be with me always as I practice the most humble profession of all. I am proud to be a nurse and I thank God for bringing me to this profession. As I open the doors to the 'real world' of a professional nurse, I know I should always seek His guidance for He is the greatest nurse above all. So this I pray...

O Lord, my God, I dedicate myself to You for this great work I undertake. Take my eyes and teach them how to see, the clearest way to nurse the sick. My hands, guard them, and show them how to prove how kind and gentle is a nurse's love. Guide my feet, give swiftness to their tread in answering every call from the poor sufferer's bed. Touch my lips, guard my tongue, uttering only words of kindness to each one. Gird me with strength that I may bear my task, help me to play the part in life without a fear. And when I am a night nurse, please guide my actions, be near my patients, and watch by my side. O Lord, I ask You to hear me while I pray. Be in me, through me and with me all the way. Amen. (--A Nurse's Prayer/Anonymous)

My Day...

2005-08-11T10:51:00.000+08:00

Your Birthdate: December 14

With a birthday on the 14th of the month (5 energy) you are inclined to work well with people and enjoy them. You are talented and versatile, very good at presenting ideas, and you are also very good at organization and systematizing. You may have a tendency to get itchy feet at times and need change and travel. You tend to be very progressive, imaginative and adaptable. Your mind is quick, clever and analytical. A restlessness in your nature may make you a bit impatient and easily bored with routine, and rebel against it. You have a tendency to shirk responsibility.

Stress-free Monday

2005-08-08T23:41:00.000+08:00

Haven't posted anything for a long time. I've been busy preparing for antioch weekend experience the past week and the AWE, I can say, went well. The participants, the facilitators and the whole team never fail to inspire me. The community meeting last night was also moving. It's called "Mourning for our losses". We recalled what we lost recently and we were asked to describe what we feel. We had reflected on what loss do we desire to bring back us or enliven. I realized that it's ok to mourn for our losses and claiming our pains is indeed the right path to acceptance and moving on. I am positive that I am on the right path, though others think I'm not. *wink*

I spent the whole day finishing the book, Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. I was also faced to the reality that I have a lot of things to do and I don’t want to stay bum forever. I have to complete my NCLEX application and I have to find a work. A work that would also allow me to have time for review. I felt a deep craving for knowledge, and yet, I haven't opened the NCLEX reviewer a friend lend me. I realized that I haven't really decided what want to do for myself. There are countless opportunities for me but I cannot find what I really want. I'm still confused. I need someone to talk to. I need advice from someone like me. Someone who is not biased. Someone who can see the big picture... I can't stay like this forever. I know...

On the other hand, I don’t want to spoil this Stress-free Monday. Ate jane tagged me. And I think I also like to answer the questions. Here it goes...

1. What are the things you enjoy doing even when there's no one around you?
· Reading books especially inspirational ones… · Observing small things like fountains, bubbles, rain, etc… · Playing piano – my all time favorite Canon in D by Pachelbel · Watching movies at home kahit pauli-ulit (Ever After, Life is beautiful, Got to Believe, etc.) · VIDEOKE sa bahay…hanngang sa mapaos. hehe
2. What lowers your stress/blood pressure/anxiety level?
· time with my friends · looking in our aquarium · videoke · Kids--- playing with my inaanak Chabelita or my cousin Coby · Ice cream, ice monster or anything COLD
3. Tag 5 friends and ask them to post it in theirs.
Five? Jerry, Ate Rhyanne, Ica, Sam and Dyan

You're Blessed

2005-08-08T00:39:00.000+08:00

You're blessed when you are out of options, and all you can do is lean on God. Because when you realize your need for God, it is only then that you tap into His immeasurable greatness and goodness.

You're blessed when you've been stripped of that which is most precious to you. Because only then can you be tenderly embraced by the One most precious to you.

-Matthew 5:3-5 (paraphrase)
from When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy

A Good Release

2005-07-27T22:45:00.000+08:00

I just wanted to shout.

WWwwwwAHHHHHHHHhhhhhh!!!

@#$#$%%$&*^&)&%^&$#^#@#!$!@#$$%$%&*()%$^&#$%$%*%^*!!!!!!!

Thanks blog. A good release indeed. Breathe in, breathe out. Sigh...

Sa Bukid

2005-07-25T19:14:00.000+08:00

Just got home from Batangas Bukid. Kahapon, muntik na akong lamunin ng lungkot sa sobrang tahimik at ganda ng lugar...Wala lang, nag-inarte lang. Ano ang ginawa ko? DIVERSION!!! Nagwalis na lang ako ng mga tuyong dahon pagkatapos ay nagbasa ng Angels and Demons. Whew!! Ngayon, sobrang okay naman na ako. As usual... Tama bang laging ilagay dito sa blog ang mga inarte? hehe,,

Anyway, I know I have more reasons to be happy than to feel blue. And I also thank God for those gloomy moments coz I have known better the true meaning of happiness...Ang saya! Kagabi pa nga, sarap mag-star gazing kaso, wala akong mapwestuhan. Nanood na lng kme ng SHUTTER!!!

Ang saya kse may bago din akong testi at sobrang na-touch ako. Thanks Jerry!! At nag-pastoring group din kme kanina. Hmmm, tomorrow, I have lot of things to do. For Antioch Weekend Experience, Batch lunch together sa CN, atbp...yunlang po! Nakakamiss na rin talaga ang lahat ng tao sa UPCN... I hope to see you guys tom.!

Malungkot ako ngayon...

2005-07-12T20:21:00.000+08:00

mahirap kapag wala kang ginagawa...kung anu-ano ang pumapasok sa isip mo...pero kapag ako ang ganon, mas madalas yung nalulungkot ako...at yun ang nararamdaman ko ngayon...alam mo ba yung feeling na narealize mo na malaki ka na...you have bigger responsibilities and you have to decide on certain things for yourself. Not only that, you cannot depend your decision to anyone because it will determine your OWN future. Di pdeng magrely sa parents, o sa friends. Ikaw kase yon. Ang mahigpit don, di din pde lagi na kung saan ka lang masaya at kumportable. Kase nga may mga bagay na dapat kang tugunan. And whatever your decision will be, it will also affect your family. panganay kse ako. at lima ang mga kapatid ko. at cyempre, may pangarap din ako para sa pamilya ko...lagi silang kasama don.

Mahirap talaga kapag tumatanda ka na. At dahil graduate nko, at nakapasa na ng board exam, sasabak nko sa laban. Nursing...parang bulaklak sa tenga. malaki daw ang kita at yayaman ka talaga. Pero ngayon, naiisip ko, magiging masaya ba ako kumita ng malaki kung malayo naman ako sa mga mahal ko sa buhay...haaay! As if me choice ako noh...alam ko naman na di ko kakayanin suportahan ang tatlo kong kapatid kung nandito lang ako...

The thought of leaving makes me weak. nakakasikip ng dibdib. Walang kasiguraduhan kung makakabalik pa ako...tapos nandito ang mga taong mahal ko.iiwan ko silang lahat. nakakalungkot... nakakaiyak...simple isipin pero mahirap. higit sa lahat, sasabak ako sa gyera...at wala silang lahat doon para tulungan ako, dahil malayo sila. kakayanin ko kaya.? dapat kayanin. haaaayyy!!!!

ang bawat minuto ay pumapatak.para sa ilang huling araw ko dito sa pilipinas...at least 2 years. swerte kung abutin pa ng 3 years. pero ganon pa din. malapit na yon...kaya sana magawa ko na lahat.habang nandito pa ako.habang kasama ko pa kayo...sobrang lungkot ko ngayon...

The Art of Letting Go

2005-07-11T11:06:00.000+08:00

Just want to share with you this song...wala lang. share ko lang...hehe. O, wag na mag-react ok.? tsk tsk.. kaw talaga oh!

Put away the pictures.
Put away the memories.
I put over and over
Through my tears
I've held them till I'm blind
They kept my hope alive
As if somehow that would keep you here

Once you believe in a love forever more?
How do you leave it in a drawer?
Now here it comes, the hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that's holding on
How do I start to live my life alone?
Guess I'm just learning,
Learning the art of letting go.

Try to say it's over
Say the word goodbye.
But each time it catches in my throat
You're still here in me
And I can't set you free
So I hold on to what I wanted most

Maybe someday we'll be friends forever more
Wish I could open up that door
Now here it comes, the hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that's holding on
How do I start to live my life alone?
Guess I'm just learning,
Learning the art of letting go

Watching us fade
What can I do?
But try to make it through the pain of one more day
Without you

Where do I start, to live my life alone?
I guess I'm learning, only learning,
Learning the art of letting go.

(''.) Currently feeling confused and burdened. Pero di related sa kanta ha. hmmp! *wink*

By the River Piedra...

2005-06-30T13:05:00.000+08:00

I've written down some of my favorite lines/quotes from the book By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept by Paulo Coelho. These are only some. More will follow... Just want to share them with you. Hope you'll like it too.! >Å<

Truth resides where there is faith. Whenever someone follows the path to faith --sincerely follows it-- he or she is able to unite with God and to perform miracles. Faith as tiny as grain of sand allows us to move mountains.

Pitiful is the person who is afraid of taking risks. Perhaps this person will never be disappointed or disillusioned; perhaps he won't suffer the way people do when they have a dream to follow. He buried himself in a cave because he was fearful of losing those talents. So: certainly he wasted his life...

There's nothing deeper than love. In fairy tales, the princesses kiss the frogs and the frogs become princes. In real life, the princesses kiss princes, and the princes turn into frogs.
Love is like a dam: If you allow a tiny crack to form through which only a trickle of water can pass, that trickle will quickly bring down the whole structure, and soon no one will be able to control the force of the current. For when those walls come down, then love takes over, and it no longer matters what is possible or impossible; it doesn't even matter if we can keep the loved one at our side. To love is to lose control.

If pain must come, may it come quickly. Because I have a life to live, and I need to live it in the best way possible. Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.

(^._,^) Currently feels excited to meet my college friends later.

Professional Bum...

2005-06-29T21:18:00.000+08:00

This is my first time to post a personal message in my blog. Honestly, I wonder if someone would really be interested to take a look on my insights here. Feeling ko, this would only be a sort of therapy for me to vent out my feelings during the moment. Hmmm...pero it's okay. Malay ko, may ma-inspire din dito sa mga nsa blog ko kahit papano diba?!

I am one of those 'professional bums' (as what my classmates call us) nowadays. We just passed the board exams this june and I am proud that we were able to maintain the 100% passing rate of UP Nursing ever since the world began. (Thanks to those who prayed for us.) Well, we had almost a month of psychological torture while waiting for the results. Ikaw ba naman matakot na magkaroon ng isa pang oblation dahil bka ikaw ang unang taga-UP na babagsak sa nursing boards db? I had 5 dreams with different stories regarding the board exam. So much for that...

Now, I miss my batchmates-yung endless overnights namin dito sa bahay para sa isang research or report. I miss having to wake up early in the morning for duty in PGH realizing that I just had 2 hours of sleep. I miss the fx during the morning and the bus ride in the afternoon/evening. I miss going to class--late, as usual! I miss my friends/barkada-marj, michelle, astrid, nikki, meg, xandra, carla, ryan. I miss my other close friends--Precious Ms, Ice Buko, Balinacon Beauties, Catharsis Grp and Barkadahang 1 row. I ironically miss PGH...yung feeling mo kinapitan ka ng lhat ng viruses/bacteria pagkadaan mo. I miss ROB Mla-quickly, kfc, auntie anne's, national (usual meeting place) and ice monster. I miss our professors especially Prof. Mejico, Mam Balabagno and Mam Layug. I miss Ate Nancy's food, PH's CR, Water fountain and Nutrilicious ng AS. I miss CN Admin- Sir Lando, Mam Amby, Mam Guille, Mam Daisy, Ate Tina, guards and janitors. I miss UP Manila! I miss UP College of Nursing!
One advantage of being a bum is that I am now able to give time on my parish youth service-Antioch. Namiss ko din yung mga members namin and it's time na makabawi sa kanila. And that keeps me busy right now...

Hmmm, medyo antok nko. Halata ba na madaldal ako.? Thanks for taking time to read this senseless sharing of mine. More to come! Goodnyt!!!

Ended at 12:15am June 30, 2005

(^^.) Currently Reminscing and Missing a lot of people/things/someone :-)

Posted at My Blogster.